Jock Itch Stick a fork in the Rockies—we’re done

Before it was even plausible that the Colorado Rockies were going to make the World Series back in 2007, the ball club sent its season ticket holders a notification for playoff tickets. The Rockies were way out of it at this point, so it was laughable to my family that we would shell out non-refundable money for something that wasn’t going to happen. Of course the Rockies did end up on that historic run, and we were left scrambling trying to track down tickets. (The Rockies were not accommodating to original season ticket holders like us who had the nerve to think their losing ways wouldn’t turn around.) But this season, when the team comes knocking with an offer to buy into the 2010 playoff run, save your money. It ain’t happening.

The season was over just after the all-star break. Going into the mid-summer classic, the Rockies were surging and just one game out of first place. Primed for a great second half right? Wrong. The team won only five games the rest of July, with August so far only a slight improvement. Losing eight in a row during that stretch was like eight little nails in the coffin. This was a great time to make the playoff push, but we’ve only seen the Rox slide further out of sight with uneven performances from all facets of the game.

If it weren’t for Ubaldo Jimenez, this would be an embarrassing flame-out of a season. Jimenez has not only carried the team on his back, he’s carried all of its luggage as well. Ubaldo has done so much for the team this year that he even went into a midseason swoon because the pressure of having to win all the time apparently got to him. Thanks a lot, Rockies: Your inconsistent ways have almost sent the best pitcher ever to wear the uniform to an early retirement. If it wasn’t for the streaky hitting, it’s possible Jimenez would have only lost once, maybe twice. In typical fashion, he was denied a Rockies record 18th win on Sunday because Clint Barmes had a colossal brain-fart in the infield.

His fellow hurlers haven’t done much to help. Aaron Cook has been terrible, and Jeff Francis has been mediocre. Thankfully, he’s now on the disabled list where he can’t do any more harm. And no lead is safe when Huston Street trots out to close the game, as we’ve seen way too many times in the last couple of weeks. It’s nothing that hasn’t plagued the Rockies in the past, but this broken record of failure has wasted some good performances and the promise of a special season.

Carlos Gonzalez has been the one bright spot on the offense this year and I wrote a few weeks back that he should have been the all-star selection instead of Troy Tulowitzki. Outside of Gonzalez, the offense hasn’t done the shaky pitching any favors, going hot and cold more often than a youth hostel shower.

Speaking of Tulowitzki, he is one big, dynamic bag of hot air. Everyone loves Tulo, but I’m starting to wonder how he’ll look in that Yankee uniform once his contract is up. Tulo might be one of the better shortstops in the game, but stat-geekery be damned, he’s not as good as he’d like you to think. Just the other night, he single-handedly blew a game against the Brewers because of his brainless need to be the hero, only to come back the next day by knocking in the game-winning run, evidence that he’s way too streaky to earn the god-like adoration heaped on him by fans. I’m not saying he’s the Rockies' only problem, but his bravado is way out of whack with what he and the team are doing on the field right now. He and Carmelo should look into sharing a mover when they ship off to New York.

So, in the next few weeks, you may get the letter in the mail. Or you’ll see an e-mail about buying in for the Rockies’ playoff run. Don’t fall for it. The Rockies are done. They’ll keep it exciting though, because that’s what they always do. The games, although very frustrating, are still pretty good to watch. But there’s nothing in the flamboyant inconsistency that should give anyone confidence for a postseason appearance. When they go on a mini-run here in the next two weeks, don’t be fooled: It will be too late.