Still alone: Research shows Denver’s no place to look for love
Photo by Stefano Mortellaro via Flickr
Don't want to die old and alone? Maybe it's time to leave Denver.
Wondering why you’re so lonely, heartbroken, and miserable? It’s not really your fault—you just have the misfortune of living in Denver, which ranks a lowly No. 31 among major cities for love potential, at least according to the indisputable science of The Daily Beast’s recent project that ranks cities on their love potential. (Boulderites, we’re not sure what your problem is—maybe you should shower more often, you smelly hippies.)
Okay, to be fair, the list posits itself as a “top 50” list, so maybe we should be glad we even made it. Yay, we’re in the top 50! On the other hand, we’re pretty sure The Daily Beast ranked every city it researched, and that only included the most populous cities in the U.S., putting us firmly in the losers’ bracket. Go us.
So why do we rank so low? Well, even though we got an “A” for divorce (not many people leaving their spouses here, apparently), we got a “D” for marriage rate (apparently not many people bothering to actually get married, either). Especially damning is our “F” for singles (which purports to register the number of single people available as a portion of population), so maybe everyone here is just too damn busy not getting married (but apparently staying in long-term, committed relationships) to date? The middling “C” for social life (which seems to be based on how many bars and clubs there are per capita) can’t be helping, even though it seems to be bullshit—you can’t walk three blocks through one of the city’s nightlife neighborhoods without stumbling over six bars full of people on any given weekend.
Anyway, the takeaway here is that your pathetic, lonely, perpetually single status probably is not your fault: You just have the misfortune of living in Denver. Maybe it’s time you moved to San Antonio, Texas—the nation’s No. 1 city for love, according to the rankings—to meet that special someone. Or maybe not—San Antonio seems like a far worse fate than another night of crying yourself to sleep in your cold, empty bed.
