The swagger of Mitt Romney, Greeley man's fake death freaks out family, and more
Their swagger could propel them to the White House
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Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.
• A visit to Colorado Springs by presidential candidate Mitt Romney offered The Denver Post an opportunity to comment on Romney’s apparent “swagger.” Word is the staff writer who penned the story won a $50 office bet for actually working the terms “Mitt Romney” and “swagger” into the same headline. Also, if "swagger" is what makes a candidate viable, then we can all look forward to third party ticket of Kanye and Jay-Z winning the election come November.
• A falsified obituary of a Greeley man sent his family into a panic Friday morning when they were unable to reach the man for hours while he was at work at a local dairy. The obituary was submitted by a relative who was upset with the family for unspecified reasons, which is some seriously next-level shit in the annals of family disputes.
• A really nice guy plunged into a lake in Lone Tree while rescuing a dog that had fallen through the ice just before. Both the man and the dog made it out okay. Now, it seems the guy not only still has the dog he uses to meet women, but he also has a totally sweet story about risking his life to save the mutt that he can tell on the first date.
• In news that’s sure to have an impact on the parking lots of jam band shows for weeks to come, Aspen police arrested a man found to be in possession of a shit-ton of cocaine, ecstasy, mushrooms, and other illicit substances. That’s going to make those interminable solos a lot less interesting...
• A Wheat Ridge adolescent treatment center is facing a lawsuit after allegedly telling a mother that her 16-year-old son is a “sociopath, like Ted Bundy.” The center apparently needs to learn that if it sounds like a joke that might get edited out of our articles here at The A.V. Club, then it’s probably not acceptable to use it during medical counseling.
