Top Chef fucking rules
Hosea Rosenberg
I am a Top Chef-obsessed nerd, and I don’t care who knows it. Some might call it a guilty pleasure; at this point, of course, we’re all aware that reality shows are nothing more than contrived Truman Show conspiracies produced by ratings-hungry writers and editors… but who’s really feeling guilty about it? Not me.
I feel no remorse in watching illegally uploaded videos of Top Chef on YouTube, nor do I have any shame in trolling the blogosphere for tidbits about Season Two winner Ilan Hall—who, by the way, is single, living in Los Angeles, and is working to open his first restaurant, which he has already tentatively named Gorbals (after the slummy Scottish neighborhood his father grew up in). Okay, so maybe it’s a little embarrassing to know so much about the dude. But, hey, if he’s going to be my future baby-daddy, then I better read up.
I feel no remorse in watching illegally uploaded videos of Top Chef on YouTube, nor do I have any shame in trolling the blogosphere for tidbits about Season Two winner Ilan Hall—who, by the way, is single, living in Los Angeles, and is working to open his first restaurant, which he has already tentatively named Gorbals (after the slummy Scottish neighborhood his father grew up in). Okay, so maybe it’s a little embarrassing to know so much about the dude. But, hey, if he’s going to be my future baby-daddy, then I better read up.
So it is with eager anticipation that I have followed the current season of Top Chef and the two Colorado hopefuls on it: Hosea Rosenberg and Melissa Harrison. Harrison’s already been axed (or knifed, according to Top Chef lexicon), but our boy Rosenberg has managed, somehow, to make it to the season finale, which airs tonight on Bravo. If you’re in Boulder, the West End Tavern will be hosting a screening of the final episode; plus both Rosenberg and Harrison will be hanging around for a 7 p.m. meet-and-greet.
But, honestly, who would have predicted that Rosenberg would have even made it this far? Not me. And, apparently, not the rest of America, either. On a BravoTV.com poll, a measly nine percent voted for Rosenberg to take home the win. Now, I can admit that it’s mostly just hometown pride that makes me root for the guy, much more so than any amount of talent that he’s shown (let’s not bring up the canned crab incident). But there is something about the Boulder-based Jax Fish House chef that makes me kind of proud. Maybe it’s his goofy smile, his simple recipes, or just his oafish demeanor. He’s like the anti-reality show guy, all humble and drama-free—except for that one time he cheated on his girlfriend on camera with another contestant.
Yeah, so, he’s not perfect and he’s certainly not the fan favorite to win. But I do think Rosenberg is deserving of the Top Chef title, and here’s three reasons why (in order of least important to most):
But, honestly, who would have predicted that Rosenberg would have even made it this far? Not me. And, apparently, not the rest of America, either. On a BravoTV.com poll, a measly nine percent voted for Rosenberg to take home the win. Now, I can admit that it’s mostly just hometown pride that makes me root for the guy, much more so than any amount of talent that he’s shown (let’s not bring up the canned crab incident). But there is something about the Boulder-based Jax Fish House chef that makes me kind of proud. Maybe it’s his goofy smile, his simple recipes, or just his oafish demeanor. He’s like the anti-reality show guy, all humble and drama-free—except for that one time he cheated on his girlfriend on camera with another contestant.
Yeah, so, he’s not perfect and he’s certainly not the fan favorite to win. But I do think Rosenberg is deserving of the Top Chef title, and here’s three reasons why (in order of least important to most):
- He is a seafood expert in a landlocked state. That’s like being a sex columnist for a church newsletter. It’s completely oxymoronic, but if you can make it work in your favor (and get rave local and national reviews), then those are bragging rights that no coastal chef can touch.
- Underdogs who triumph make for better television. Look to any cheesy team sports movie, and you’ll understand.
- Lastly, and most importantly, Colorado deserves this. Our little state has been on a roll this past year. We hosted a history-making political convention; The Fray knocked out The Boss on the Billboard chart; and now a Boulder chef is poised to win a shallow cable TV trophy. Let’s fucking do this, Colorado. Hosea, prove to us that all this brain-sucking time spent in front of the TV was worth it.
