What the 16th Street Mall really needs
The approach toward visiting a new city generally goes like this: go downtown, eat and buy shit, formulate an opinion. But were you to do that in Denver, you would come away thinking the only thing to do here is eat at Taco Bell and shop for dream-catchers.
“That’s what they do on the 16th Street Mall, anyway,” you would tell your friends, who inevitably would turn the conversation by asking, “but, seriously, how was the powder?”
The 16th Street Mall is a blight, not an asset, and it doesn’t do the city of Denver justice. Occasionally, though, the city government realizes this. Every few years the city experiences these come-to-Jesus moments where they snap to and remember that the strip is like a wound pussing chain stores down Denver’s center. Then begins the long and ineffectual bureaucratic dance of what should be done about it. Committees are formed, civic do-goodery fills the air, and then nothing changes.
And apparently here we go again: A team of consultants working for the Downtown Denver Partnership recently unveiled three plans for “improving the pedestrian experience on the 16th Street Mall.” The first plan proposes maintaining the current transit operations and overall layout, according to the Denver Post. How the fuck does that count as a plan?
“Hey, guys, what’s your first idea?”
“Our first idea is do nothing.”
“Love it! What else you got?”
So far what else they got—aside from continuing to push the mall as a retail destination—is moving westbound bus traffic to a bus lane on 15th Street or making both westbound and eastbound buses (the free mall ride) travel on the same side of the street, thereby augmenting the pedestrian space. Now, we’re talking—the widened area is the perfect blank canvas for a real city-planning artist. So, Downtown Denver Partnership, why don’t you can the consultants and take a few pointers from your boy Cayton-Holland. I’m offering these few tips on the house even, because if there’s one thing the 16th Street Mall has to teach, it’s that you give the first taste free of charge. Have a taste, Downtown Denver Partnership, I’m sure the consultants won’t be too upset. In fact, they’re probably already formulating their first plan of doing nothing as a response.
Food
You want people to like your city? Feed them well. The deep-fried detritus shuttled at the Tilted Kilt isn’t getting the job done. What we need is a flourishing vendor culture. Biker Jim’s and the recently opened Gastro Cart (see our review) are the types of local food that should be replicated—or, rather, complemented—downtown. These bright-lights are culinary beacons in a sea of the mundane. Cut licensing fees, offer tax-breaks for the use of local ingredients—find a way to encourage this tenfold. A vibrant food scene in the middle of the city would do wonders for the mall, and make it a place that locals not working downtown would frequent as well.
Hidden gems
Way back when, downtown Denver was truly beautiful. Every building looked like The Oxford Hotel. Then the ’70s begat skyscrapers atop our old, brick buildings, and Denver lost a lot of charm. But there are still twinkling remnants, even on the mall. The Paramount sign clinging to the side of the historic theater, the rickety alleyways in the middle of every street—those are testaments to a bygone era and we need to play that halcyon chapter up. How about adding a fresh coat to the dozens of old, painted advertisements on the sides of buildings downtown? Such signage is undeniably cool and exists just below the surface of many city buildings.
Also, those cows on the mall painted all sorts of wacky ways? Those are awesome! It’s Denver poking fun at our cow-town image, having a laugh at our own expense. Everyone likes a city with a sense of humor. Put those heifers everywhere!
Flea market
Once a month, say the first Saturday to capitalize on the artistic fervor swirling around First Fridays, throw a real-deal flea market on the mall. Forego licensing—a sprawling, eclectic, half-legal market in the heart of the city would be the exact type of thing a surprised visitor would rave about: “If you go to Denver, you have to go at the beginning of the month for this great flea market. It’s where I got this purse.”
“Uh-huh,” your friends will respond. “But, seriously, how was the powder?”
