HOLIDAY SALE AT THE ONION STORE

Movie Review

  • "Mmmm... the Big Brisket."

    Movie Review The Vow

    An accident forces a young married couple (Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams) to start the wooing process from scratch. 

    February 9, 2012 | 5:40pm -

  • Movie Review Safe House

    A quarter-century after his Oscar-nominated role as Stephen Biko, Denzel Washington returns to South Africa as a decidedly shadier character.

    February 9, 2012 | 12:08am -

  • Movie Review Rampart

    Woody Harrelson teams up again with Oren Moverman (The Messenger) for a take on the same LAPD corruption case that inspired The Shield

    February 9, 2012 | 12:07am -

  • Movie Review Chico & Rita

    A “what’s that?” nominee for Best Animated Feature turns out to deserve the slot. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:06am -

  • Movie Review Return

    Linda Cardellini plays a returning soldier in a familiar drama boosted by excellent performances. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:05am -

  • Movie Review Journey 2: The Mysterious Island

    The Rock takes over for Brendan Fraser in an island adventure that invokes Jules Verne just enough to insult him. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:04am -

  • Movie Review The Turin Horse 

    The reputed final film from Hungarian master Béla Tarr pivots on the incident that marked Friedrich Nietzsche’s break from sanity.  

    February 9, 2012 | 12:03am -

  • Movie Review In Darkness

    Director Agnieszka Holland (Europa, Europa) follows a sewer worker and petty thief as he makes his way through a Nazi-occupied Polish city. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:02am -

  • Movie Review The Miners’ Hymns

    In this compilation, multimedia artist Bill Morrison’s stunning new experimental film about coal miners joins a handful of his other shorts. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:01am -

  • Movie Review Perfect Sense 

    Ewan McGregor and Eva Green star in an apocalyptic romance that handles the apocalypse better than the romance. 

    February 9, 2012 | 12:00am -

  • Movie Review Chronicle

    This is why teenagers cannot have nice powers. 

    February 2, 2012 | 12:05am -

  • Movie Review W.E. 

    Madonna presents a history lesson via softcore perfume commercial.  

    February 2, 2012 | 12:05am -

  • Movie Review The Woman In Black

    The revived Hammer Films attempts to revive the haunted house movie, cheaply.

    February 2, 2012 | 12:04am -

  • Movie Review The Innkeepers

    Director Ti West follows up The House Of The Devil with another effective old-school haunted house movie.

    February 2, 2012 | 12:03am -

  • Movie Review Big Miracle

    A rare based-on-a-true story heartwarmer in which good things don’t always happen for the right reasons. 

    February 2, 2012 | 12:02am -

  • Movie Review Kill List

    Murder by numbers. One, two, three.

    February 2, 2012 | 12:01am -

  • Movie Review Windfall

    For a small town, an alternative energy source creates another set of problems. 

    February 2, 2012 | 12:00am -

  • Movie Review One For The Money

    Katherine Heigl plays a bounty hunter in this adaptation of Janet Evanovich’s bestseller, which in no way recalls The Bounty Hunter

    January 27, 2012 | 5:20pm -

  • Movie Review Tim & Eric’s Billion Dollar Movie

    The provocateurs behind Tim And Eric Awesome Show, Great Job! break into film by going larger, broader, and more outrageous.

    January 27, 2012 | 10:15am -

  • Movie Review The Grey

    Liam Neeson versus a pack of hungry wolves. Place your bets. 

    January 26, 2012 | 12:04am -

  • Movie Review Man On A Ledge

    An ex-cop suspended on a ledge, an audience asked to suspend its disbelief. 

    January 26, 2012 | 12:03am -

  • Movie Review Miss Bala

    In this exciting Mexican thriller, a would-be Tijuana beauty queen gets ensnared in the cartel wars. 

    January 26, 2012 | 12:02am -

  • Movie Review Declaration Of War

    A beautiful, semi-autobiographical French drama finds a couple grappling with their two-year-old’s cancer diagnosis. 

    January 26, 2012 | 12:01am -

  • Movie Review Underworld: Awakening

    Dank lighting. Skin-tight black catsuit. CGI werewolves. You know the drill.

    January 20, 2012 | 3:45pm -

  • Movie Review Haywire

    Steven Soderbergh wanted to make a movie showcasing the ass-kicking skills of MMA star Gina Carano. Mission accomplished. 

    January 19, 2012 | 12:08am -

  • Movie Review Red Tails

    Producer George Lucas and his collaborators give the Tuskegee Airmen the Remember The Titans treatment. 

    January 19, 2012 | 12:07am -

  • Movie Review Coriolanus

    Ralph Fiennes makes his directorial debut with a first-rate Shakespeare adaptation with contemporary resonance. 

    January 19, 2012 | 12:06am -

  • Movie Review The Flowers Of War

    Zhang Yimou’s epic looks at the rape of Nanking with a striking but propagandistic bent. 

    January 19, 2012 | 12:05am -

  • Movie Review Crazy Horse

    82-year-old documentarian Frederick Wiseman goes backstage at Paris’ world-famous nude dance revue.

    January 19, 2012 | 12:04am -

  • Movie Review Carol Channing: Larger Than Life

    An admiring portrait of the Broadway icon only scratches the surface. 

    January 19, 2012 | 12:03am -