The A.V. Club - Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory

Film: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: American Loser, An Invisible Sign and The Chaos Experiment

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 12:00:00 -0600

A periodic check-in on what’s going on in the world of movies that didn’t make it to theaters. American Loser (2007) Imagine for a moment that you are Seann William Scott. You are a popular actor renowned for your portrayal of braying, overly enthusiastic jackasses in everything from American Pie to American Pie 2 to American Wedding. Those films, and several others of their ilk, have made you rich and famous beyond your wildest dreams, but still you hanker for more. You wish to be taken seriously. You want to prove to the world that there is more ...

DVD: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: The High Cost Of Living, Son of Morning, and Setup

Mon, 26 Sep 2011 12:00:00 -0500

A periodic check-in on what’s going on in the world of movies that didn’t make it to theaters. The High Cost Of Living The direct-to-DVD wasteland serves as a discreet burial ground for numerous failed attempts at professional reinvention. In that respect it’s like Sundance, a generous realm where sitcom actors can channel their inner auteur or get all Cassavetes with the shouting and the emoting and such. If you’re Zach Braff—the unquestioned voice and sad face of the Zach Braff Generation—you can grow some stubble, refrain from showering for a brief idyll, and ...

Film: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: The Year Of Getting To Know Us, Five Aces, and The Sasquatch Gang

Tue, 26 Jul 2011 12:00:00 -0500

A periodic check-in on what’s going on in the world of movies that didn’t make it to theaters. The Year Of Getting To Know Us Jimmy Fallon engendered a lot of ill will in the late 1990s for reasons that now seem silly. The rap on Fallon during his high-flying early Saturday Night Live days was that he was too cute and too young, a lightweight, a pretty boy who cracked up on air, appeared in too many sketches, and got too much press. He was the hot young new guy, and that guy always catches a lot ...

DVD: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: Winona Ryder gets her MPDG on, Rosario Dawson remakes Medium Cool and Mewes! Nemec! Faustino!

Mon, 11 May 2009 10:07:00 -0500

The Last Word: In a blog post a while back I singled out the upcoming direct-to-DVD romantic drama The Last Word as a particularly unpromising example of what NPR has called the “cinematic scourge” that is Manic Pixie Dream Girl cinema. In it, Winona Ryder plays a chatty, sexually aggressive young woman who falls in love with Wes Bentley, a walking, talking blob of sensitivity who makes his living ghost-writing suicide notes. Apparently a whole bunch of motherfuckers want their friends and family to think they magically morphed into a verbose, black-clad philosophy graduate student in their final moments. The ...

DVD: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: Rob Schneider prison rape edition featuring Big Stan, Against The Dark and The Pleasure Drivers

Thu, 26 Mar 2009 16:27:00 -0500

Whenever he damn well feels like it Nathan Rabin emerges from his crypt of doom, drinks the blood of virgins to regain his waning potency and writes about two or three DVD premieres for Dispatches From Direct-To-DVD Purgatory. “BEFORE filming scenes for his new comedy Big Stan, Rob Schneider would first pause to get in touch with his inner Buddhist. With legs crossed and eyes closed he would strike a relaxation pose. As his crew looked on in silence, Schneider would block everything out — "the camera, the really hot-looking caterer, the actress who's constantly worried about her make-up" — and ...

DVD: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: Jessica Simpson/2Pac/Rourke/Houdini icon edition

Wed, 18 Feb 2009 14:53:00 -0600

Whenever he damn well feels like it Nathan Rabin emerges from his crypt of doom, drinks the blood of virgins to regain his waning potency and writes about three DVD premieres for Dispatches From Direct-To-DVD Purgatory. Private Valentine: Just a few films into her acting career, Jessica Simpson has found a sad little niche pumping out lobotomized direct-to-DVD quasi-remakes of lightweight eighties comedies. First came Blonde Ambition, Simpson’s sluggish homage to Working Girl. Now Simpson and pervy producer papa Joe have a go at Private Benjamin in Private Valentine: Blonde and Dangerous, the buxom songstress’ latest gift to cinema ...

DVD: Dispatches From Direct To DVD Purgatory: Post-Fame, Post-Hope Meg Ryan Edition

Mon, 12 Jan 2009 10:26:00 -0600

The first, or maybe second, third or even fourth Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday or Friday of every month Nathan Rabin writes about three DVD premieres for Dispatches From Direct-To-DVD Purgatory. Today’s edition explores the post-fame, post-hope career of America’s sweetheart-turned-clown-faced ghoul Meg Ryan. The Deal: Pity poor Meg Ryan. After dropping out of the public eye following the failure of Against The Ropes (who could have guessed that Meg Ryan+Boxing didn’t equal boffo box office?) she had extensive cosmetic surgery to make herself look like The Joker in a desperate bid to resuscitate her career by ...