The A.V. Club - Savage Love

Features: Savage Love:February 3, 2010

Wed, 03 Feb 2010 00:00:00 -0600

Let’s say, theoretically, I’m a pedophile. I’m not stupid or evil, so I’m not gonna DO anything. I’m not even gonna look at porn, because the production of it involves child exploitation. Hell, even porn that’s just drawn pictures—perverts drawing smut for perverts with no kids or anyone else involved—is illegal in a lot of places. I don’t even look at kids in public, and anyone of whatever orientation who’s been to a crowded beach knows how hard it can be not to look. So what the fuck should I ...

Features: Savage Love:January 27, 2010

Wed, 27 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a single (mostly) gay guy who is curious about women. A hot bisexual mate is interested in a friends-with-benefits arrangement. I’m not looking for an LTR just now, so regular, no-strings sex sounds great. However, his girlfriend doesn’t know he’s bisexual, and I’d feel uncomfortable having sex with him behind her back. I’ve said no to guys in the past, bi and gay, because they wanted to go behind their partners’ backs. My mate would like his girlfriend to know about him because he’d really like to have threesomes with her (something ...

Features: Savage Love:January 20, 2010

Wed, 20 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0600

I have a problem. A key part of my problem, I feel, is that I’m a recovering anorexic and I am still struggling a great deal to eat normal and healthy portions of food. A friend and I have recently become “friends with benefits.” He lives very far away, so we primarily indulge through IMs. He knows I have issues with food, though he doesn’t know to what extent. Normally, I try to be GGG, even trying out a bit of vore in our role-playing and making it a regular thing, since he really enjoys it. Recently, though ...

Features: Savage Love:January 13, 2010

Wed, 13 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0600

I am a 34-year-old straight, single female. I have a fantasy I can’t find much about online, so I figured I’d ask you for advice. My fantasy is to be blindfolded, bent over a table/couch/whatever, and fucked by whoever happens to walk by. I realize this would have to take place in a safe environment, but most sex clubs or parties tend to be for swingers, specifically couples. There’s a sex club nearby that looks like it might cater to my fantasy, but can I just walk in off the street and bend over? Do ...

Features: Savage Love:January 6, 2010

Wed, 06 Jan 2010 00:00:00 -0600

I am a queer lady in my 20s. My boyfriend and I recently discovered that we are both into BDSM. We started with some light bondage and spanking, added some role-play, and are moving toward some heavier stuff. I’ve spent some time reading online BDSM erotica, and here’s what’s stressing me out: I tend to gravitate toward stories that include age play (underage girls with older men). I think pedophilia is wrong and disgusting, yet I get off on the stories. I can’t stop feeling like I’m a huge pervert. Also, what is a good ...

Features: Savage Love:December 30, 2009

Wed, 30 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0600

Set me straight. I married my wife several months ago after dating for three years. Things are generally excellent, except for one problem: When my wife gets drunk, she gets crazy flirtatious. She’ll dance close to people, touch them, hold hands. A couple of times, I thought it went too far and I told her she was making me uncomfortable. She claims it is just harmless friendliness/flirtation and she would never let anything happen. Well, as it turns out, something did happen. After she was dancing, hugging, and getting kissed on the cheek by a woman I think ...

Features: Savage Love:December 23, 2009

Wed, 23 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a woman who wants to be spanked. But I’m overweight and self-conscious. Men who like to spank women like to spank petite women. Sometimes I’ll search kinky personal sites or other online forums and find someone who might want to spank me. But I get scared and I back out. Most recently, I’ve been talking to a trucker who stops at rest stops along his routes around the country and meets with/spanks women. He is patient and encouraging, and has references, and has directed me to boards with all this safety information, and insisted ...

Features: Savage Love:December 16, 2009

Wed, 16 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I’ve been married four years and have a beautiful baby boy with my husband. I enjoy sex a lot, even a bit of BDSM. My husband, on the other hand, isn’t “driven by sex,” as he likes to put it, and will try tying me up if that’s what I “really want.” You’d think if he wasn’t driven by sex, the few times we did have sex, he would last for a while, but he lasts at best five minutes. On the occasional blue moon, it’ll be about 10 minutes. My problem is, all ...

Features: Savage Love:December 9, 2009

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I am a 23-year-old male who has been in a relationship with a great woman for four years now. She is an amazing person, and we oftentimes talk about marriage. The issue is this: I have a foot fetish, and she is fully aware of it. She doesn’t like the idea of me kissing her feet or indulging my fetish in any way. We have sex quite often, and I’ve always let it slide that she doesn’t want any part of my fetish. I don’t know what to do, because I’m at a stage in ...

Features: Savage Love:December 2, 2009

Wed, 02 Dec 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a longtime reader who thought I’d never have a reason to write since I’m universally known as the “good girl,” but I’m not sure who else I can turn to. I have a close male friend. Even though I knew he was dating someone else, we became friends-with-benefits several years ago. Because of his relationship (and the fact that he lives with her!), I let him take the lead in setting up our rendezvous. Sometimes when we’d be together, it felt like a booty call; other times, it felt like it was leading to ...

Features: Savage Love:November 25, 2009

Wed, 25 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I am a 29-year-old single straight man. Over the past year, I have become very close friends with a gay man close to my age. We have a blast hanging out, and I value our friendship. Four months ago, he told me that he had developed romantic feelings for me and said he needed a little space to save our friendship. For a couple of months, we saw each other only with mutual friends. Then we started hanging out again. It’s been great, and he seems very comfortable with me again. The thing is, I am now experiencing a ...

Features: Savage Love:November 18, 2009

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I am a happily married, happily non-monogamous male. We are not wild swinger types. For us, it’s more about the fact that monogamy does not work than about nailing everything that walks by. Anyway, I have encountered an odd situation a few times now, and again last night, where I’ll be flirting with a potential fling and she knows I’m married, and she’s very interested. But when she finds out my marriage is non-monogamous, she suddenly backs out. Case in point, a coworker: We have been flirting since I started my new job a few months ...

Features: Savage Love:November 11, 2009

Wed, 11 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I am a 30-year-old woman, married for five years to a man eight years my senior. Lately I have become more aware that I am turned on by the idea of bondage, specifically men locked up in chastity devices. I am ashamed of myself, because it seems, well, pretty perverse and disturbed. My husband is a pretty dominant alpha-male type. I am a relatively dominant personality, but I’m a bit submissive around him in order to keep the peace, as he will not tolerate any disagreement in certain situations. So I am wondering: Is this new fetish springing from ...

Features: Savage Love:November 4, 2009

Wed, 04 Nov 2009 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a 20-year-old girl, and I’ve been dating my boyfriend, who is 23, for two years. From the get-go, he has known that I am bi, and like most straight guys, he’s happy to be with a girl who likes girls. The thing is, I am too shy to go out and hit on a girl. Getting a man was the easy part, but getting a girl who is willing to fuck around not only with me but also with my boyfriend is a daunting task. I encourage my boyfriend to talk to women since he is ...

Features: Savage Love:October 28, 2009

Wed, 28 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

I’m a 67-year-old woman, almost 68, who has been married four times—once widowed (with three kids in their 40s who’ve turned out pretty well), divorced three times. I recently met someone online: 48, a wealthy, educated man with two boys, 12 and 14. He lives the cuckoldt lifestyle and is looking for a woman to marry who would participate and enjoy this with him. He says he “craves and needs” this lifestyle, and from what he’s said so far, the boys have been trained from an early age to also live this lifestyle and would require ...

Features: Savage Love:October 21, 2009

Wed, 21 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

I’m a straight teenage male, but I can’t climax unless I am stimulating my anus or rectum. I use various objects like cucumbers. The reason I don’t buy a toy is that I live in a very religious household, and my parents would disown me if they found a sex toy in my room. I take a toilet plunger and wrap the handle with toilet paper and tissues. Then I take a plastic bag and put it over the top. After that, I wrap a rubber band around the bottom part of the bag so it can ...

Features: Savage Love:October 14, 2009

Wed, 14 Oct 2009 12:44:00 -0500

I’m a 25-year-old girl dating a 26-year-old guy. My boyfriend identifies as sexually submissive. He likes to be tied up, put in women’s underwear, and locked in a chastity device, and he has a strong urge to please. I hate the term, but I suppose you could call me a “feeder.” I am turned on by the idea of someone eating a lot of food, usually junk food, and putting on weight. It’s probably related, but I’m also a bit of a fitness nut—I’m the type of person who gets her cat health food ...

Features: Savage Love:October 7, 2009

Wed, 07 Oct 2009 00:00:00 -0500

My partner and I have a dilemma. We’re a straight couple. Our lives and finances are intertwined, and we are already essentially living as a married couple. Now we want to hold a ceremony with family and friends to make public the commitment we’ve already made privately. That said, we are in favor of marriage equality and are considering joining the marriage boycott (www.unmarried.org) until DOMA is repealed and every state allows gay marriage. Our friends and family say we should get married and fight for equality “from the other side of the fence.” On the ...

Features: Savage Love:September 30, 2009

Wed, 30 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0500

About a month ago, I got drunk and slept with my friend’s girlfriend. (He’s not my best friend, more of a second-tier friend.) We both swore never to tell anyone, and left it at that. Only problem is, we’ve been hanging out a lot lately and sending private messages to each other multiple times a day, but nothing physical. It’s progressed to the point that our mutual friends are starting to notice that there’s something going on between the lady and me. And, frankly, if someone I was dating were doing what she is doing ...

Features: Savage Love:September 23, 2009

Wed, 23 Sep 2009 00:00:00 -0500

You are known far and wide as an arbiter of all aspects of sex and especially definitions of sex, so we are hoping you can give your definitive opinion on an interesting conundrum. My wife and I were recently regaling each other with anecdotes from our past, and she easily had the most interesting story: It seems that when she was a young woman in college, a fellow student invited her over for lunch. It turns out that he thought she was lunch. He quickly had her clothes off and was kissing her, although he was still dressed. Then he ...