The A.V. Club - Savage Love

Features: Savage Love: February 8, 2012

Wed, 08 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a 21-year-old gay male. My friend “Marcelo” is friends with “Chad.” Everyone who meets Chad assumes he’s gay. Never had a girlfriend, a dance major, dyes his hair blond/green/purple, got up at 2 a.m. to watch Kate marry William—I could go on. Over four years at college, this situation has gone from funny to sad as we realize he may never come out and could pull a Marcus Bachmann and live a miserable life with a miserable wife. Last night, Marcelo was on Grindr and got a message from a guy who turned ...

Features: Savage Love: February 1, 2012

Wed, 01 Feb 2012 00:00:00 -0600

My husband is a very kinky submissive man. When we were dating, I found out that he had been talking to multiple people online and that he had met up with a professional dom a couple of times. I felt betrayed that he had done this all behind my back, even though I had told him that I would be down with him seeing a dom. (I even offered to buy him a session for his birthday!) We got through it, and now our sex life is amazing. I tie him up, I lock his dick up, I dress him ...

Features: Savage Love: January 25, 2012

Wed, 25 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Have boyfriend. Several months. Love sex. First time we sixty-nine, I notice he has a little turtlehead sticking out. You get me? Second time, he has bits of toilet paper stuck in that area. CAN I ADDRESS THIS? And how do I do it without giving him a permanently flaccid penis? I love this man to pieces and know this is a humiliating topic. Please help! Mired In The Mud Got you. Wish didn’t. But did. If you don’t have the nerve to speak up when someone is grinding shitbuds and dingleberries in the vicinity of your nostrils ...

Features: Savage Love: January 18, 2012

Wed, 18 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600

My 13-year-old son came out to us this morning. He plans to tell his brothers in the next few days. We love and accept our son, and this news isn’t surprising (but when will the stereotypical neatness kick in?), but we do have some concerns. He has, apparently, already made the news public at school. Any pointers you can give? We want to make sure he knows that we love him and don’t care about his sexuality, while at the same time preparing him to deal with those people who do. Also, any advice you can give for ...

Features: Savage Love: January 11, 2012

Wed, 11 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600

I am writing to thank you. I remember reading your definition of “santorum”—“the frothy mix of lube and fecal matter that is sometimes the byproduct of anal sex”—when it first appeared. I remember thinking it was a cute way to make fun of a dickhead politician. I never thought it would go this far. But after Iowa, Rick Santorum is in the spotlight again. And so is that frothy mixture. And that’s fucking awesome. Jeff In Wisconsin Don’t thank me, JIW. Thank Rick Santorum for making his bigotry crystal clear in a 2003 interview with the ...

Features: Savage Love: January 4, 2012

Wed, 04 Jan 2012 00:00:00 -0600

Why do most people assume that all non-monogamous relationships are destined to fail? Because we only hear about the ones that do. If a three-way or an affair was a factor in a divorce or breakup, we hear all about it. But we rarely hear from happy couples who aren’t monogamous, because they don’t want to be perceived as dangerous sex maniacs who are destined to divorce. This state of affairs—couples who experimented with non-monogamy and wound up divorced won’t shut up; couples who experimented with non-monogamy and are still together won’t speak up—allows ...

Features: Savage Love: December 28, 2011

Wed, 28 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I am a 25-year-old gay man. I consider myself very gay-positive and self-accepting. Although I have always accepted my homosexuality and never really felt bad about it, recently I have been going through a hard time psychologically, because I’m exposing myself to very graphic homophobic online content. There are blogs, online groups, and websites that cater to gay men who like to be abused and degraded by “straight” men. These websites have content that is extremely degrading. Some people write extensively about how all gay rights should be rolled back. I am very disturbed because I am actually aroused ...

Features: Savage Love: December 21, 2011

Wed, 21 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600

My sexy GGG husband and I fuck a “good friend” semi-regularly. He’s hot, young, and game to fuck about every other week. We started out wearing condoms, but we’ve had the safe-sex conversation and our good friend isn’t banging anyone else, so we’ve moved to condom-free sex. A month ago, we had a hot threesome. Our good friend fucked me, but came on my tits. My husband fucked me, too—that night, the day before, the day after. Now I find out that I’m pregnant. I’m 99 percent sure that it’s my husband ...

Features: Savage Love: December 14, 2011

Wed, 14 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a man who recently started seeing a wonderful woman. Like me, she’s divorced. While my ex-wife left me for another man, my girlfriend’s ex-husband was controlling and abusive. Our relationship is the opposite—emotionally, psychologically, and sexually. Here’s the thing: His abusive behavior is my kink—spanking. In all my past relationships, spanking was light, playful, and consensual; with her ex, it was about pain and humiliation to the point of tears and bruising. She knows about my kink (as a Savage Love reader, I knew to bring it up after a couple of weeks ...

Features: Savage Love: December 7, 2011

Wed, 07 Dec 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a happily married woman. I have a great sex life with my husband of many years. He’s helped me discover things I didn’t know about myself sexually. The problem: Three years ago, my first love contacted me after 23 years. He was married at the time, although he didn’t want to be, and told me that he never stopped loving me. We have been having sexy e-chats ever since. My loving, GGG husband says that I can help my old flame out if I wish. What would you do in this situation? Chick With 2 ...

Features: Savage Love: November 30, 2011

Wed, 30 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m a 21-year-old woman from Canada who sleeps with other women. Two questions for you: 1. My LGBT friends and I disagree about what we girls who sleep with girls exclusively should call ourselves. Everyone else prefers “lesbian” and bitches at me for hating that word. Can’t I call myself gay? 2. I am a really kinky person: I’ve been very sexually active and into BDSM since I was 16. I have a large toy collection and many of the toys are dildos and anal plugs. I like anal a lot, but the thought of vaginal just ...

Features: Savage Love: November 23, 2011

Wed, 23 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m 26, straight, and male. I consider myself a socially progressive person, have been a vocal supporter of LGBT issues since high school, and was president of my college Gay-Straight Alliance. Here’s my issue: I fully support the trans community. I have numerous friends in varying states of transition, and I’m 100 percent behind them. But in my own dating life, I wouldn’t feel comfortable dating/having sex with a woman who had at one point in her life been a man. I realize I wouldn’t be fucking a dude, but it’s a mental ...

Features: Savage Love: November 16, 2011

Wed, 16 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m 21 years old and in a monogamous relationship. I lost my virginity to my boyfriend, and it was a really great experience. I was drawn to BDSM even before I began having sex, and he’s been happily fulfilling my needs. However, he revealed fairly early on that he also enjoys being submissive during sex. I asked him to explain what sort of dominance he was looking for, but he said he’d rather show me. Recently he tried to steer a sex session in that direction—me dominating him—but I felt nervous and self-conscious. I felt ...

Features: Savage Love: November 9, 2011

Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0600

I’m an evangelical Christian in a country where that is not a political statement. My husband and I have been married five years. We have great sex several times a week despite having two kids under age 2. We get along so well that even a couple of my atheist friends have admitted they want what we have. What most of them don’t know is that we waited until after the wedding to have sex—or even kiss. Most secular folk would consider it reckless to tie the knot before making sure we were “sexually compatible,” whatever that ...

Features: Savage Love: November 2, 2011

Wed, 02 Nov 2011 00:00:00 -0500

I am marrying a man with two children—a boy and a girl—and we want to include his children in our wedding party. My best friend and maid of honor happens to work as an escort. You and I agree that prostitution should be legal and that sex work shouldn’t be stigmatized, Dan, but the ex-wife of my fiancé disagrees strongly. She somehow deduced what my BFF does for a living, and now she has told my fiancé that she will not allow her daughter to participate in the wedding if my BFF is the maid of honor ...

Features: Savage Love: October 26, 2011

Wed, 26 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0500

My boyfriend and I are in college and doing the long-distance thing until June 2013. Over the years, he’s granted me increasing amounts of freedom to be intimate with women—I’m female, and date women while we’re apart—but I still don’t have full autonomy. It’s much better than it used to be, but lately another one of my “needs” has been eating at me: my masochism. He’s repeatedly refused me permission to let someone lay into me with a flogger. That’s all I ask! In order to abide by the rules of ...

Features: Savage Love: October 19, 2011

Wed, 19 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0500

I broke up with a girl who wasn’t hot enough for me. I tried my whole life to not be that kind of guy. I treated her carelessly because she wasn’t that important to me. I was self-indulgent and rude and disrespectful, and it made her cry. She’s perfectly attractive, but not in an obvious way, which is what I want. I don’t want to abandon her, because she is a pillar of support that I truly need. She’s the first girl I ever fucked, and I’m the first guy she ever dated. She ...

Features: Savage Love: October 12, 2011

Wed, 12 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0500

I’m a college freshman. I thought that college would be the place to come out, but the sad fact is that college hasn’t changed anything. I’m still unable to admit my sexuality to my friends, teammates, classmates, and hallmates. I have thought about joining the LGBT organizations, but those guys are too “out” for me. Not that there’s any problem with that. I just don’t think that being gay is anyone else’s business unless I want them to know. The hardest part is seeing other freshmen go out to parties, hook up, and date ...

Features: Savage Love: October 5, 2011

Wed, 05 Oct 2011 00:00:00 -0500

I am an 18-year-old straight male. I have a hodgepodge of birth defects that affect my genitalia: severe hypospadias (my urethra—my piss slit—is at the base of my penis), micropenis (less than two inches), and anorchia (I was born without testes). I have never been naked around anyone else. I don’t really like being naked by myself, to be honest. Lately, my sex drive has skyrocketed. It is driving me up the wall. Couple this with the fact that women see me as attractive, and I’m not doing well. It’s frustrating that sexual situations are ...

Features: Savage Love: September 28, 2011

Wed, 28 Sep 2011 00:00:00 -0500

I am a 23-year-old female, sexually active for seven years, and I can’t reach climax. I am extremely frustrated. I have a wonderfully patient and helpful partner. He has tried hard to no avail. I can’t even get myself there. I feel like I am broken. My partner and I talk out anything that is bothering me, we try different things, but no matter what the situation, I can never reach orgasm. When I went off birth control, I brought up to my doctor that I had never had an orgasm, and she told me that female orgasms ...