Fooding An open letter to hungry celebrities 

What is up with bony brunettes lately? First everyone collectively sucked in their breath at the site of Angelina Jolie at the Golden Globes and SAG Awards, and Twitter lit up with people recommending someone get her a sandwich—or cracker—immediately. Then Demi Moore was hospitalized, looking positively skeletal with exhaustion and possible drug addiction—or, sorry, overly self-medicating with prescription drugs, or whatever it’s currently called.

But we digress. All of that tweeting about food got us hungry. And with all of the Super Bowl hoopla, we knew there would be plenty of celebrities in town, so we wanted to do everyone a favor and encourage all of you to have a sandwich. Please. You’re in Indiana, now; people will not judge you for eating. Hell, a good portion of our population has a body mass index equivalent the weight of a 3-year-old child. So by all means, enjoy the following restaurants, chosen for proximity to Super Bowl Village, variety (including vegetarian options), and sheer overall yumminess:

Cafe Patachou
While many people swear by the restaurant’s breakfast menu, Cafe Patachou also has a fantastic assortment of sandwiches sans deli meat. Choices include organic, free-range Indiana chicken; curried lentil pâté; smoked salmon; and good, old tuna. All come with sides and your choice of locally baked bread. Of course, if you insist on a simple salad, you’re out of luck. The salads are anything but simple, but we doubt anyone’s complaining. And despite unseasonably warm weather, soup is always good, and Cafe Patachou’s is hot, tasty, and plentiful.

Shapiro’s Deli
This place is an Indianapolis institution. The cafeteria-style service shouldn’t deter anyone from eating here. Also, Shapiro’s is offering a free shuttle service, so no worries about parking, because the restaurant is located a tad south of downtown. Shapiro’s is known for its reuben, pastrami, and the fact that it’s hard to open your mouth wide enough to take a bite of its sandwiches. The vegetarian options are more limited, but they exist; the desserts are huge and delicious. In fact, all of the food at Shapiro’s is huge and delicious. But, despite the restaurant’s supposed tradition of “moderate” pricing, it still stings a little to fork over upwards of $12 for something you eat without one.

Food trucks
To find out their current locations, follow @IndyFoodTruck on Twitter. As for grub, variety abounds: Southern comfort, salad, Floribbean, tacos ... it’s all good and reasonable.

Pork tenderloin sandwich 
Okay, so this one’s not a restaurant. But it is a beloved Hoosier favorite, and therefore it’s available at most places. Don’t bother asking which place serves the best one: If you ask five people, you’ll get five different answers. Then each person will pause, and probably give you an additional answer (the sandwich can be served breaded or not).

St. Elmo Steak House
No Indianapolis food story would be complete without St. Elmo’s. It’s another Indy institution, known mostly for a seriously searing shrimp cocktail and ginormous steaks. A meal here is too costly for many to eat here regularly, but since it’s unlikely you’ll be able to get in without either already having reservations or having your people call their people, there’s nothing to worry about.

Circle Center Mall food court
Quick, cheap, variety, and close. The Huddle is part of the mall, so that’s an easy (and warm) solution.