Attack of the neon morsels: Inedible-looking colors in food

No sight in the world of food should ruffle the average American diner anymore. We negotiate blaze-orange Nacho Cheese Doritos, brown pumpkin Jell-O, and acai berry tea that looks like squid ink without blinking. But some foods are so weirdly colored that they give even The A.V. Club pause. We set out to sample some of Madison's more radioactive-looking edibles.

Guanajuato Restaurant’s spiciest green salsa
The interior of scrappy little Guanajuato Restaurant (1318 S. Midvale Blvd., 608-271-7204) is festooned with a colorful panoply of hangings celebrating pre-Conquistador-era romance, but the strangest color in the room belongs to the hottest salsa verde Guanajuato serves. Though exactly the hue of regurgitated pea soup, and an Exorcist-scary sight to behold in its gallon tub at the salsa station, it turns out to add both nuance and nostril-flaring spice attack to Guanajuato's sturdy tacos.

Oysy Buffet desserts
Dessert items generally get a pass to rampage up and down the color spectrum—key-lime pie, sherbert, and so on—but even so, the little shortcake-type items at Oysy Sushi & Seafood Buffet (4126 E Washington Ave., 608-237-7587) are pushing it. A frosting-like film tops these dry, malevolent cake-squares with shades of orange and pink so violently unnatural that they could easily be used as hunting-safety gear. On the upside, they make Oysy's many tentacle-sporting buffet items seem a little more reasonable.

Blue Moon ice cream
Hard to find outside the upper Midwest, Blue Moon is a hit with kids because it’s sweeter than Fruity Pebbles, but also because it turns their lips and tongues bright blue. Chocolate Shoppe (468 State St., 608-255-5454‎) has it, along with other super-weirdly colored treats like Superman (Hot Topic red, electric yellow, and bright blue) and Peppermint Stick (ultra-red and green candies in orange peppermint ice cream).

Neon hot dog relish
The eyeball-searing Kryptonite green these glowing flecks of pickle throw off is supposedly an industry secret, but it clearly involves food dye—this color is not found in nature. It can be found on a 100 percent Vienna all-beef Chicago dog from Mad Dog's (309 N Henry St., 608-310-4511‎), and is good enough that you may bite into it and realize that eating bioluminescent food doesn't bother you at all.