Better things to do on Black Friday than freezing your ass off for a cheap TV
telegraph.co.uk
Black Friday has evolved, or maybe devolved, into the epitome of American consumerism. Sales run rampant. Shoppers swarm and occasionally trample each other or innocent employees. The event has even bred websites solely dedicated to sharing the coupons and deals to be had in the wee hours of the day after Thanksgiving. Other websites offer tips so shoppers can maneuver as expertly as a SEAL team whose objective is securing the year’s hottest toys. In a bold move to squeeze American consumers for even more of the money they shouldn’t be spending, stores like Walmart are planning to open their doors at 10 p.m. on Thursday just as many will be stirring from their post-turkey food comas.
For those who can’t bear to stomach another Black Friday spent battling hoards of steel-faced shoppers or are conserving funds like a squirrel stockpiling nuts, The A.V. Club presents five culturally enriching alternatives under $10.
Ghosts Of Christmas Past
For those who: are sick of turkey before the first bite and would rather skip ahead to sending up Christmas.
Price tag: $9
The Broom Street Theater self identifies as “the theater your mother warned you about” and consistently explores the quirkier side of accessible topics. This holiday season the theater presents Ghosts Of Christmas Past, written and directed by Scott Rawson and Christina Beller. The play depicts the full gamut of holiday spirit, from the people who worship the cult of the big man in red to the population who would celebrate just as merrily by tossing back a few with Ebenezer. Specifically, the play includes storylines about one boy’s horror on Christmas morning and friends who would rather rewind to Halloween. The production promises to provide audiences with a helping of satire, a zero-calorie complement to pumpkin pie shamelessly slathered in whipped cream and eaten at dinner.
Women, Labor And Compassion
For those who: would rather reflect on the labor used to manufacture the products consumers chase like headhunters.
Price tag: free
Friday morning, shoppers will ravage that racks. But for anyone who’d rather deal with some emotional weight rather than the physical weight of being stepped on by adults clambering for the last My Keepon, the Women, Labor And Compassion exhibit hanging in the Playhouse Gallery of the Overture Center demonstrates the impact of corporate globalization through the depiction of women’s labor. Through her 18 paintings, artist Janet Essley aims to raise consciousness about working conditions and workers’ rights in other parts of the world, a salient issue locally after the protests last spring.
Christkindlmarkt
For those who: balk at global commercialism but want to support local artisans.
Price tag: free admission
Christkindlmarkt celebrates a European tradition dating back to the 1400s. Supporters of the “buy local” movement looking to taste-test Nordic culture visit the Old World markets that spring up around the country during the holidays. The Christkindlmarkt in Monroe, presented by Monroe’s Swiss Heritage Series, will feature over 20 artisans’ work from Scherenschnitte, scissor cuttings, to Kerbschnitte, wood chip carvings. Authentic German fare will be available, including hot spiced wine and baked goods for anyone looking to indulge in something more exotic than mashed potatoes and gravy.
Tours of Capital Brewery
For those who: need a liquid solution to mellow their type-A relatives.
Price tag: $5 per person
Capital Brewery offers a respite from the tensions of the holiday cooking. Strong personalities vying for control can cause tempers to outpace the rising oven temperature. The brewery tours lend insight into the process used to create its award-winning microbrews produced in the Germanic style. Friday’s tour will begin with an account of the brewery’s history at 3:30 p.m. in the Bier Stube, German for pub, and will conclude with a tasting. If some locally brewed hops would help temper the antics of overbearing relatives, take the tour.
Gobble
For those who: want an opportunity to dance off those three servings of candied yams.
Price tag: $3 before 11 p.m., $4 after
Shatterbox Productions renamed its bi-weekly dance party, “Wobble,” to reflect a Thanksgiving theme: This Friday’s “Gobble” will feature DJs Vinnie Toma, Greanhouse, Mr. Alexander, and Cosmic spinning classic hip-hop at Electric Earth Café. DJ Colwell of Portland, Oregon will also return to thrown down his mix of boogie-style beats alongside local talent. Forget about the chicken dance. Patrons looking to bust a move may well channel another member of the feathered family.
