Cheers! The Royal Wedding's a great time for a piss up in Madison

If the deviants who settled this great country and then threw off the shackles of Mother England lo those many years ago could fast-forward into the future to today and look around, even those who spilled blood would probably be okay with relaxing and contentedly tucking into a plate of food from Dear Old Blighty to celebrate the upcoming Royal Wedding on Friday. The soon-to-be-wedded, fresh-faced duo is terribly photogenic, after all, and everyone loves those absurd hats. Live coverage of the nuptials will kick off in U.S. time zones before most farmers wake up, so it would be rubbish to rise in time since America’s not taking the day off for the wedding. But that doesn’t mean it wouldn’t be ace to watch a recap after work with some traditional British fare.

Brocach Irish Pub (7 W. Main St., 608-255-2015)
The ersatz British Isles ambience of Brocach is an appropriately superficial venue to wallow in the pomp and circumstance of this event; the trappings of a traditional pub have been sanitized and recreated with rebar, drywall, and painted-on smoke stains. While the food trends toward Irish fare, there’s plenty of British grub on the menu, including bangers and mash, black pudding, grilled sausages, grilled tomatoes, brown bread, and baked beans.

The Coopers Tavern (20 West Mifflin St., 608-256-1600)
With a wide selection beers from England close at hand, like Samuel Smith Imperial Stout and Hepworth Pullman English ale, the bar at Coopers is another solid bet for getting arse over elbow in honor of the new couple. A simply cracking pub stew—bacon, mushrooms, root vegetables, and slow-broiled beef swimming in broth—is well met by a cold Hobgoblin English brown ale from Oxfordshire with chips and fish, in this case Icelandic haddock. Brilliant!

Macha Tea House (1934 Monroe St., 608-442-0500)
After it’s all over and the royal couple is bonking away somewhere, Kate Middleton’s dress and fashion accoutrements will be best discussed over hot tea. Fawning over her heirloom tiara from the royal collection or clucking the tongue in mock horror over her self-applied makeup can be carried out primly at Macha Tea House, where real English Breakfast tea—none of the bagged stuff that makes the British gag—will make even the scruffiest Madisonians feel like Berkshire residents of good standing.