Belly Up Dayton Street Grille's bountiful, gut-busting brunch

For those in the mood for an over-the-top Christmas meal, but too lazy to actually cook, the Dayton Street Grille (1 W. Dayton St., 608-257-6000) is hosting an opulent Christmas brunch on Friday, Dec. 25 from 10 a.m. to 2 p.m. The cornucopia of foodstuffs is mind-boggling: Scrambled eggs, smoked bacon, country-style stuffed eggs, French toast, and an omelet bar may not raise many eyebrows, but the very definition of “brunch” will be challenged by the inclusion of salmon quiche with caper cream cheese, sushi rolls with wasabi cream, garlic-roasted shrimp orzo, and pearl barley and portobello mushroom salad. It is the kind of meal that can be enjoyed over three or four hours—a bit of grazing on a plate of garlic-encrusted prime rib, before moving on to a little roasted turkey with cherry brandy gravy. Better save room for dessert, too. (Which seems odd at a brunch, but who’s going to say no to sticky toffee pudding, chocolate grasshopper mousse, or caramel walnut tarts?)

Fatsometer: 10. Keep the paramedics on speed dial—this is the kind of meal that can send a person to the slab if they’re not careful. And if you live long enough to want to work it off, DJ Real Jaguar is spinning at Mickey's Tavern at 10:30 p.m.