Did things just get a whole lot sexier at UW-Madison?
Photo by Boon Lee Fam via Flickr
Younger doesn't always mean sexier, but in the case of the Unions...
Another summer has come and gone, but something has changed between final exams and move-in weekend. A new chancellor, a new quarterback, and the first full semester with a gorgeous new Union could signify things getting considerably sexier at UW-Madison for the fall semester. The A.V. Club has scoped out all the new hotness to help ease students into a campus they might not recognize since they skipped town for the summer.
The old: Scott Tolzien, the quarterback that took the Badgers to the Rose Bowl
The new: Former North Carolina State quarterback Russell Wilson, who could lead the Badger offense to the Rose Bowl and seal the deal on a victory
Is he sexier?: The team certainly thinks so; it already instated him as a team co-captain. Coach Bret Bielema is even gushing about him to the press, and who can blame him? He passed for 8,545 yards and 76 touchdowns in his three seasons at North Carolina State. He’s got the hearts of Badger fans all aflutter, and he already had them forgetting the Rose Bowl heartache from last January with his debut against UNLV last week, where he put up 255 yards passing, threw for two TDs, and ran 46 yards like a madman for another score.
The old: The original Union South, home of student IDs and not much else
The new: The rebuilt Union South, a place to complain about not being on the Memorial Union Terrace
Is it sexier?: Union South has always had to live in the shadow of its sister by the lake, but the new building’s indoor lounges, outdoor patios, and easy access to booze should seduce as many people away from the Terrace as possible, particularly once it gets too chilly to hang out lakeside. And venues for concerts (The Sett, Varsity Hall) and film screenings (The Marquee) mean that non-students can have a reason to hang out without being accused of being creepy alcoholics. Did we mention there’s a wine bar within five feet of an entrance?
The old: Former chancellor and YouTube sensation Carolyn “Biddy” Martin
The new: To be determined, but Interim Chancellor David Ward is holding it down for now
Is he sexier?: Umm... not exactly. Ward was chosen as a known quantity to hold UW-Madison over during the search for a new chancellor. His record as a former UW-Madison chancellor from 1993 to 2001 and relative distance from the fracas between the UW System and Martin over UW-Madison’s independent status makes him the reliable ex with a good shoulder to cry on, not a rebound score. Also, geography just isn’t as sexy as someone who can spricht Deutsch.
The old: “Nail’s Tails,” also known as the symbolic raging boner for football at the entrance to Camp Randall Stadium, or as a big pile of turds.
The new: As Wisconsin State Journal columnist Doug Moe stated, speaking for just about everyone in the city, “Nail’s Tails” needs to get gone and just about any replacement will do.
Is it sexier?: Much to Moe’s chagrin, the statue probably isn’t going anywhere any time soon. In fact, religious reverence treating Camp Randall as a temple to Badger football is probably what netted us the obelisk in the first place. Perhaps everyone should just take a cold shower and the statue will gradually go away.
