Recap Fat Men In Skirts brings the pain

By the time Mercury Players Theatre's Fat Men In Skirts is over, 16-year-old Bishop Hogan (Thom Anthony Rehwaldt) has called his mother, father, and doctor a “dirthead,” “blockhead,” “airbrain,” “vomithead,” “craphead,” phlegmhead,” “crapnoodle,” and “pissnoggin.” He’s eaten babies, slept with his mother, and killed a few people. He also screams obscenities a good portion of the play. And in the overall scheme of the production, Bishop is one of the most likeable characters.

All of this nastiness raises a question: In an absurdist black comedy, do characters still need to have at least a few redeeming qualities? (Short answer: Sweet lord, yes.) The antihero archetype can be fun when used well, but even the most bilious reprobate needs to have shreds of dignity to give the audience something to hold on to. Fat Men has its moments of levity, but for the most part, Nicky Silver’s script leaves you feeling like you’re drowning in a sea of pain, while your life boat floats farther and farther out of reach.

The first act mostly takes place on a desert island, where Phyllis (Karen Moeller) and Bishop Hogan’s plane has crashed. In order to survive, they become cannibals and lovers. Meanwhile, Phyllis’ husband Howard (Chris Braunschweig) shacks up with a porn actress named Pam (Jocelyn Fitz-Gibbon). The final two acts are set five years later after Bishop and Phyllis are rescued. But by this time, they’ve turned into raving barbarians, so they have no chance whatsoever of leading normal lives.

If all of this sounds zany and wacky, it’s not. Sure, there are jokes, but the characters’ desires are so focused, they overpower any of the lightheartedness necessary to balance out the suffering. Phyllis, Pam, and Bishop all want to be loved by Howard, even though it’s obvious he’s incapable. Howard wants to get laid and make movies, so he does, no matter what the cost. Phyllis wants Bishop to be happy, but only if his happiness in some way benefits her. And so on.

Mercury Players wrings every laugh possible out of the script. The two ticket-takers are dressed as flight attendants, and periodically stop folks entering the show for “full-body scans.” The gag is ridiculous and fun. Pam, and a minor character, Popo Martin (also played by Fitz-Gibbon) have some hilarious lines that offer temporary respite from hailstorm of bleakness. But by the time Bishop gnaws on his final hand sandwich, it’s hard not to feel like you have a phantom limb yourself. The horrors have melded into a steady thrum that no longer aches, but rather leaves an itch that can’t be scratched. More specifically: The desire for someone, anywhere, to engage in just one selfless act.