Fireworks, donkey races, and painted garbage cans
This is what your stomach looks like after a pie-eating contest.
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With the exception of the spectacularly lowbrow mash-up that was Sunday's Rhythm And Booms, one Fourth of July fireworks show isn’t a whole lot different from the next. You set out a blanket, coat yourself in bug spray, and "ooh" and "ahh" for roughly 30 minutes, then shuffle home with a world-weariness rooted in the knowledge that the next day will likely be filled with fewer explosions. So when choosing a fireworks show, Decider scoped out the other activities preceding the main event to best round out your Independence Day experience.
Woodman’s Elver Park Fireworks
Where: Elver Park, Madison
Fireworks: July 3
Why here: Details are thin, but with Q106 and Woodman’s Food Market as the main sponsors, one can assume this celebration will have some good grub to go along with shit-kicking, contemporary-country tunes. Elver Park also has that giant hill, so a walk to the top is always good for a cheap workout if the thought of watching hundreds of kids having their faces painted is unappealing.
Monona Community Festival, July 3-4
Where: Winnequah Park, Monona
Fireworks: July 4
Why here: Sure, there’s a hole-in-one contest, bands, and a beer tent, but nothing, and we mean fucking nothing, can top the “wife carry” race on Friday. Here’s how it works: You carry your wife through a 253.5 meter obstacle course. If you drop her, don’t fear—you’re only penalized 15 seconds. And if you win, Mr. Mule, you can take home an amount of beer equal to the weight of the woman you carried. Really.
Stoughton Fair, July 1-5
Where: Stoughton Fairgrounds, Stoughton
Fireworks: July 4
Why here: While many fireworks displays are paired with local festivals of some sort, none are as big as the Stoughton Fair. There's the expected tractor pull and demolition derby, but this gathering will test the limits of the word "surreal" with donkey races, pizza- and pie-eating contests, and pig wrestling.
Rock N’ Thunder Festival, July 2-4
Where: Youth Sports Complex, Janesville
Fireworks: July 4
Why here: With a blustery name like Rock N’ Thunder, it’d be safe to expect a whole lot of each. Strangely, Thursday is “family day,” which means no beer sales, and entertainment is relegated to the ilk of Elvis impersonators. Friday’s schedule, however, redeems what’s expected in a small-town fest with alcohol, carnival games, vendors, and bands like Stoned Pony and Scrapyard Daddy.
Columbus Fourth of July Celebration, July 1-5
Where: Fireman’s Park, Columbus
Fireworks: July 4
Why here: The big draw in Columbus is a trash-barrel painting contest, which is an attempt to clean up and beautify the city. Suggestions from the festival organizers for artwork include Fourth of July themes, Columbus history and/or landmarks, anti-litter motifs, and that meaningless catchall for the creatively challenged, “abstract art.”
