I scream, you scream, we all scream for ice cream mixed with alcohol

Summer’s here and the time is right for slurping down concoctions made with two of the world’s greatest inventions: ice cream and booze. Ice cream drinks are only found on a precious few area menus but they do exist, like rare animals. The A.V. Club strapped on sunglasses and put the top down in order to drive around town in search of the headiest of summer drinks: ice cream mixed all up with booze.

Monty’s Blue Plate Diner
Have you rescued a kitten stuck in a tree? Or stopped a train from hitting a school bus? If so, you deserve the ultimate reward: the Black Bavarian beer float at Monty’s. Combining Sprecher’s brew, vanilla ice cream, and a pretzel rod—as a float or a shake—Monty’s has touched the face of GAWD with this simple creation. Even at a whopping $9—just like the other “adult” ice cream drinks on its menu—all you have to do is dip the salty pretzel into the bitter and sweet mixture of beer and ice cream to know such divine culinary power is worth the price. Besides, you get the rest of the beer.

Bluephies Restaurant and Vodkatorium
Bluephie’s has a key lime martini with graham cracker crust. Bluphies also has a crazy carrot cake martini with gobs of frosting slathered around the edges of the glass like a fresh leading of caulk. But what really stands out at Bluphies is a special known as the “Dreamsicle” with Hangar 1 mandarin-infused vodka, Three Olives vodka, vanilla ice cream, and a touch of coffee creamer. It renders one unable to talk and good for only eating more booze-fortified ice cream.

Eldorado Grill
The Eldorado has a riff on bananas foster: mangoes sautéed with brown sugar and tequila served over vanilla bean ice cream. “Aged tequila, 100 percent agave, mangoes, salt, brown sugar with ice cream, a sprig of mint... it’s pretty much what you want on a hot summer night,” says chef Zach Hanewall. It’s a huge sensory overload taste-bomb that triggers all of the most primitive and deeply set urges: Go party, go have wild sex, go to sleep burbling at the mouth with gummy satisfaction.

Jade Monkey
Jade Monkey is an unusually slick and well-heeled joint given the geographic and cultural parameters—it operates out there on the Stoughton Road asteroid belt of dusty grease-pits and tarheel-inhabited drinky hideaways. Yes, Jade Monkey, where the bartender sometimes wears a tie, does much better than it needs to in most regards, and its killer grasshopper is no exception: Three scoops of ice cream, Crème de Menthe, chocolate liquer, and a scoop of ice is a classic knockout for a hot day. And Jade Monkey has six other booze-meets-ice cream drinks. Who’s our designated driver?