Jukeboxing Ideal Bar

Where they haven’t been replaced by charmless, trend-crunching tune-bots, jukeboxes say a lot about a place—in fact they, enhance the place. In Jukeboxing, Decider spends some quarters and punches some buttons at Madison bars and venues. This edition takes a look at the jukebox at Ideal Bar.

The box: Bare-bones and brightly lit, the divey Ideal Bar has its charms, but a hopping dancefloor isn’t among them. Just don’t tell the jukebox: Shunted into the corner, this giant contraption beckons with flashing rainbow-colored lights, trying in vain to get the party started.

Price: 3 plays for $1, 7 for $2, and 18 for $5. But don’t plan on unloading any pocket change; the coin slot is covered by Scotch tape.

Drinkin’ songs: Ideal Bar attracts a wide-ranging crowd, so even though its box is about 90 percent greatest-hits compilations, there’s still plenty to choose from. Whether you feel like drinking to Etta James or Waylon Jennings, Sheryl Crow or the Velvet Underground, Roy Orbison or the Ramones, their most famous tunes are within reach.

Nerd jams: A few hip perennials pepper the selections, including Modest Mouse’s Moon Over Antarctica, The Pixies’ Surfer Rosa, and Wilco’s Sky Blue Sky. But nobody out-nerds Steely Dan, so cue up the townie classic “Hey Nineteen” and lament the fact that no teenage girl is ever, ever setting foot in here.

Mixes: With tracks like B.B. King's “Paying The Cost To Be The Boss” and The Rolling Stones' “Sympathy For The Devil” the "Jeff’s Mix" CD betrays a surprising level of frustration for such a laid-back joint. There’s also a stray Now That’s What I Call Music comp and Roadhouse Blues, a mix curated by the noted music scholars of Harley-Davidson.

Locals: It’s not every bar that gets its own customized theme song. Jim Walktendonk’s deeply local anthem stokes east side-west side tensions, namechecks Monona, and contains the refrain “stop on down to the Ideal Bar/ be seen and be cool.” The song's also available through a streaming player on Walktendonk's website: Click on the Gemini & I record (fourth from the top) and select the track "The Ideal Bar."

For bar time: Wish the night would never end? Punch up the Allman Brothers’ interminable “Mountain Jam,” a noodley live track that clocks in at a whopping 33 minutes. You might not make any friends, but at least you’ll get your money’s worth.