Blog Madison grovels for Google (but not as abjectly as other towns)

In its latest push for world domination, Google has announced a new project to bring super-fast fiber-optic Internet to whichever municipality proves itself the most worthy. The potential to be the nation's most wired city has elicited its fair share of bizarre sales pitches from towns in the mid-sized range Google is eyeing. So it only makes sense that the good people at UW's Babcock Hall churned up a new Google Fiber ice cream, which made its debut last night at an informational meeting at Olbrich Botanical Gardens. Right now, the technophile’s delight is no more than vanilla ice cream with M&Ms and granola (for the fiber—get it?), a sugary tableau that resembles the Google logo. (First-taste verdict: Tasty, as ice cream cannot help but be, yet not spectacular.) It's still in its developmental stages, though, and Babcock hopes to have it coming off the line in three to four weeks.

Whatever happens, Madison's likely to emerge from the Google Fiber selection process with more self-respect than some other municipalities. Here's a quick roundup of some far more absurd things various cities are pulling in the name of blazin'-fast Internet connections:

-Baltimore's mayor actually used the phrase "blazing fast Internet infrastructure" in her announcement of the city's bid.

-In a flagrant act of self-deprecation, Topeka, Kan., even renamed itself Google, Kan.

-In an act that bordered on human sacrifice the mayor of Duluth, Minn., jumped into a freezing Lake Superior.

-In the straight-up-pleading department, people in Durham, N.C., plan to use their bodies to spell out "We Want Google" on a football field.

-Citizens of Grand Rapids, Mich., are planning a "flash mob" that involves forming a "human fiber" chain.

For now, it seems like churning out more dairy product and playing the nation's giggling milk-frau is just about the most dignified thing we can do. Want to read about even more ridiculous gimmicks? Check out Fast Company's story on the subject.