Madison's Stand-Up Comedy Competition, Round One
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As great as it was to see the Comedy Club On State so tightly packed Wednesday night for the start of Madison's Stand-Up Comedy Competition, it’s safe to assume that any time 33 comedians are jammed into an hour and a half, it’s going to be a total crapshoot. This first round—during which the field was narrowed down to 15 comics—featured such reliable local joys as Paul Hart discussing the perils of having a gigantic taint (which apparently includes receiving “taint twisters” in elementary school), but if The A.V. Club ever hears another sleepy joke about how “men are pigs,” we’ll be forced to unleash the jackals of hell upon ourselves. According to Joe Buettner, the Comedy Club’s main emcee, the panel of judges voted based on stage persona, creativity, and how well the comedians respected their three-minute time slots. By the time the night's 10th comedian stepped up, it had become painfully obvious that several contestants would fail in all three categories.
One of the biggest issues of the night was redundancy. Two comics talked about “fucking a monkey,” four comics had Wii Fit jokes (the best, by far was Alan Talaga’s tasteless gem about switching to a new game, Wii Bulimia), and an even bigger group sunk to riffing about the Haiti earthquake. “I was going to do a Haiti joke tonight, but I didn’t know if I’d be able to dig myself out,” joked Adam Waldron. He then continued with one more gag-inducing, but somehow amusing, pun" “You probably would have ‘Haiti’d’ it.”
Another ongoing theme was that it seemed like every amateur white comedian had decided to pack his routine with low-grade racial humor. In particular, when Stefan Davis wasn’t dropping his own name every ten seconds to remind the audience who not to vote for, he found time to joke about how racism isn’t a problem for him because he “only has white friends.” Davis’ follow-up, James Jackson proceeded to rip him a new asshole. “Motherfucker says he has no black friends, but then he shakes my hand.” He continues, “he probably just knows I’m gonna whoop his ass later.” Jackson’s set pretty much revolved around crackheads, one crackhead in particular: “Uh, if crackheads are supposed to be skinny, why the fuck does my mom weigh 400 pounds?”
Despite the duds that inevitably haunt every open mic night, there was plenty of great material to be heard. Club regulars like Hart, Waldron, and Talaga (who can be seen every other Monday at The Frequency as Sconnie man-child Dan Potacke) put on excellent sets. Another standby, JoAnne Poniatowski, speculated on what it would be like to seduce the entire cast of Winnie The Pooh—from Kanga to Eeyore. Up-and-comer David Leon riffed on the cultural significance of Mortal Kombat II, and local favorite Mike Schmidt blasted loud whistlers and declared that Jesus Christ had the worst superpower of all time.
Of the 33 contestants, 15 have made it to the second round, which begins at 8:30 p.m. next Wednesday: Nick Hart, Paul Hart, Kimani, Kevin Kunkel, David Leon, Nick Lynch, Rex Miller, Sean Moore, James Jackson, JoAnne Poniatowski, Chris Schmidt, Mike Schmidt, Alan Talaga, Adam Waldron, and Rick Yoose.
