Marc Maron at the Comedy Club On State
As Marc Maron stalked the stage of Madison’s Comedy Club On State in Madison on Friday (his presence suggesting something in between Burt Reynolds and a predatory bird), the veteran Los Angeles comic and WTF With Marc Maron podcast champion did the two things he does best: work through his demons and polarize the shit out of the people. “If you don’t like me, I’m sorry. It’s not your night,” cracked Maron, after going on a tirade over a recent trip he took to the Creation Museum in Petersburg, Kentucky. To that experience, Maron sent many verbal uppercuts. “If you believe in Creationism, I just want to open my heart to you and say that you’re a fucking moron.” Among Maron’s gripes was a “Garden Of Eden” exhibit that featured not only a penguin, but also a Tyrannosaurus Rex eating a pineapple. “They’re trying to close a gap of three million years! Why a pineapple? Were they finicky eaters?”
While the first third of Maron’s set took an oceanic piss on Christianity, he did have something to clarify. “I’m not an atheist; I just genuinely don’t give a shit,” Maron stated, further explaining that he’d rather talk to a reasonable Christian for five hours than to an atheist for five minutes. “Same goes for a vegan. Sure, their hearts are in the right place, but at least a Christian knows it’s flawed.” It seemed that most of the crowd members knew exactly what they were in for, but there was a definite air of nervousness to be found in the laughter of folks who just happened to stumble in for—oh, say—Maron speculating that Catholic priests used to compete with Greek philosophers to see who could be the ultimate pederast.
Even though Maron’s decimations of Creationism and Catholicism were harshly engaging, and his bit about shopping in Chinese grocery stores just to look at all of the weird shit they sell killed, the comic was at his best when he pulled the crowd into his own twisted world. “My penis is an emotional storm-chaser,” the comic explained, as he stood up from his stool. “I’ll look into a woman’s eyes, see chaos and clouds, and think, ‘Where’s my raincoat? I’m going in! I’ll carry the jumper cables until I find her broken daddy box.’” Maron also mentioned that he’d been “dating aggressively” in light of a recent divorce. “I’m glad I’m not ‘middle-of-divorce guy’ anymore. I’ve been trying to be honest with these women. I tell them that I’m angry, heartbroken, bitter, and incapable of trust or intimacy. For some reason that translates to them as, ‘I love you, please move in with me.’”
The outspoken leftist and former progressive talk-radio host expressed a great deal of praise for Madisonians, congratulating them for “taking it to the streets.” “I’m looking forward to tomorrow’s protest. This is great because young people who don’t know who they are politically can pick up a sign and take a side,” he joked, earnestly adding, “I’m proud of you guys, nobody takes action anymore.” However, he expressed concern over how “frighteningly polite” everyone in Madison is. “I don’t trust it. I really need someone to lose their mind publicly.”
Local comic and former mayoral candidate Nick Hart delivered a witty opening set of his own, mostly revolving around a bit about his passion for smoking tons of pot and hanging out with Jehovah’s Witnesses when they pop up on his doorstep. “She asked me if I had ever read the Bible,” Hart explained. “I said, ‘No, I was raised Catholic,’ and she laughed. She laughed!”
