Packers-Vikings II: The worst homecoming ever
Not to get too crazy, but this game kind of means everything
Rick Stewart
Brett Favre takes a break from last Sunday's game to look for his soul.
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As much as I’d love to blame Brett Favre for the pick that lost the Vikes the game last Sunday, I can’t. Shockingly, he threw an interception that wasn’t his fault. Still, the pass did come from his hand, as did the fumble LaMarr Woodley scooped up and took to the house. (Steelers defense 14, Favre 0, baby!) Call me petty, but I needed that. I’m not above a little schadenfreude—especially since we’ve been subjected to an endless brigade of analysts splitting their pants while polishing Favre’s wood, only to be interrupted by more Vikings highlights. Since Oct. 5, it’s been a little like having one of the Mantle brothers from Dead Ringers scrape out my heart in a monthlong procedure.
So if nothing else, the group-grope leading up to our prodigal son’s homecoming seems to be toned down a smidge now that Minny learned firsthand what we already knew: Old Man Gunslinger is fallible. I’m just glad these face-to-face meetings are almost over. I can’t take it anymore. On the plus side, Favre can only return to Lambeau Field for the first time once. The negative? This game means pretty much everything.
A win would tie the Vikes in the loss column with half the schedule left, and a loss would present a tough, though not insurmountable challenge. But how much will those final nine games really matter if Favre beats us again? After he un-retired for the 76th and most recent time, the schedule was basically whittled down to two games. You damn well better believe this is the one he circled first. This goes beyond the standings, and a loss would be so much worse than anything that could come after—and that includes a purple Favre hoisting the Vince Lombardi trophy. And I think he knows it.
Consider: The pre-Vikings Favre was already a top-5 all-time quarterback. No matter what happens this year—Super Bowl, no Super Bowl—the history books will never put him above Joe Montana and John Elway. And it’s almost guaranteed Peyton Manning will soon pass him on this theoretical list. Informed fans understand this, and Favre has to as well. If all he wanted to do was play one more year with no regrets, he could have done that in New York where he was, you know, under contract. He finagled a release from his commitment, and later signed with the Vikes because it gave him two chances to dump a boiling pot of étouffée down Ted Thompson’s shorts. And what could be more embarrassing than pulling this fun-lovin’ prank in Green Bay?
And let’s say the Vikes do win the Super Bowl. Obviously that’s centaur- and pixie-fueled fantasia, because it would entail Brad Childress effectively managing, at minimum, three straight playoff games against the league’s best. It’d also mean for the first time in five years Favre’s late-season play didn't fall off like an Acapulcoan cliff diver. Oh, and then there’s the Vikings history of choking. But let’s pretend all the Norse heroes return from Valhalla to shepherd this unlikely confluence of events. Would that hurt as much as watching him disappear into the bowels of Lambeau after a win, smirking and wagging his finger? Every time you saw him after, which nightmare would be seared into your retinas? Him yukking it up and saying he’s going to Disneyland? Or that time he defiled the place we cherish most?
Not to mention, I wouldn’t be shocked if a loss put the wheels in motion for the eventual ouster of Thompson and Mike McCarthy. Whatever you think of their abilities, that kind of mass upheaval is never good for a franchise.
It’s true the first loss was brutal, and it left one of those glowing, rainbow-colored bruises. This game, though, is winnable. We should win. Mainly because it’s at our house—which just so happens to be the same house where we spent 16 years turning our backs every time our bestest, most favorite son put another cigarette burn in the couch. Now that he doesn’t live here anymore, a loss would be like letting him break in and leave an un-flushed present in our toilet. And then for good measure, seeing him burn down the guesthouse on his way out of town.
I’m not so foolish to think that every player, coach, and GM is anything but a mercenary. I don’t begrudge any of them—it’s their job. But that doesn’t mean some things can't stay sacred, and our Lambeau Field home most definitely is. So come Sunday, you can cheer, boo, or turn your back. Favre doesn’t care. Whether you were listening or not, the day he signed with the Vikes he told everyone it was fine to box up his trophies and turn his old bedroom into a den. Just know he’s not over it, he does have a vendetta, and he’ll be coming to town with his pickup full of toilet paper and rotten eggs. And if the Packers don’t find a way to pull this one out, he’ll leave behind a mess we may never completely clean up.
Prediction: The second time through the division, there are few secrets. Adrian Peterson has to be stopped like he was in the dome, only this time we need to couple it with knocking Favre down a few times. We have to take advantage of Antoine Winfield being out. We need the D to drop the hammer like it has the past two games. And mostly we need the ghost of Curly Lambeau to come back and kick Favre in the nuts, just for having the gall to even try to mess with his crib. I think it all happens. Packers 27, Vikings 24
