Places not to take your parents

You’ve moved to Madison for college and now your parents want to come see your new life. If you’re anything like most college students, you can’t take your parents to the same places you and your friends go out. The booze- and beanbag-tinged life will lead you to certain places that seem essential to the college experience, less so to impressing your folks. To save you from yourself, The A.V. Club offers this guide to places not to take your parents when they come to Madison, as well as some alternatives.

Red Shed
Sure, Wisconsin is well-known for its drinking habits, but the Red Shed, with its famed Long Island iced teas served in large Mason jars, is probably a little too frightening for most parents—even those who threw back quite a few in college themselves. Top that off with its dubious distinction as Madison’s “Dirtiest Dive Bar” (as named by the Badger Herald), and your parents may have your bags packed and loaded in the car before you’ve finished hiding your bong.
Alternative: The Old Fashioned offers a classier taste of Wisconsin’s drinking culture with 150 Wisconsin beers on tap and in bottles, plus a great version of the state drink, the brandy old-fashioned.

A8 China
Cheap food and lots of it are the hallmarks of college dining establishments. A8 China exudes both qualities with its white board advertising cheap eats, divey exterior, and location tucked between a hair place and a tattoo parlor. While your parents may applaud your fiscal responsibility (an entrée, fried rice, egg roll, and soda for under $5), they probably won’t love the greasy pile of chewy meat and gluey noodles that a few dollars gets you.
Alternative: The atmosphere at Vientiane Palace is only slightly better (it's housed in an old laundry), but the Lao-Thai food really shines, all for only a few dollars more than A8 China.

Stadium Sports Bar And Eatery
Cheering on the Badgers can be a bonding experience for parents and kids, especially if said parents also went to the UW. But the Stadium’s meat-market atmosphere, scantily clad beach volleyball players, and physical resemblance to an implement shed may not make it your elders' favorite place to take in the game—despite the bar’s impressive 36 large-screen HDTVs. Not to mention that the few other older adults in the place are usually of the lascivious-old-man type.
Alternative: A Madison institution, State Street Brats maintains the party atmosphere among people of all ages without going too overboard on most game days. Plus, what better way to show your Wisconsin pride than with a red-and-white brat?

Inferno Nightclub
Even if your mom was once on the dance team and your dad in a band, the goth-tastic den of drinking, music, and dancing known as Inferno should probably remain your little secret. Not only do you not want your parents to know you go to "leather and lace" night, you probably don’t want to see them in similar get-ups either. Or even worse, wind up watching a burlesque show together.
Alternatives: Get your music and dance on at the more full-coverage-friendly High Noon Saloon. Or show your worldly side by taking in some classy jazz and international folk music at Restaurant Magnus.