The Dan Potacke Show
“All those lights… all those people”
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When local comedian Alan Talaga created the character Dan Potacke for his old sketch-comedy troupe Public Drunkards, it made for a rather creepy and sad reflection on Madison. A failed businessman (and registered sex offender) who can’t seem to get his mind beyond Madison, Potacke always sports a tie, a hideous green sport coat, a squawky Wisconsin accent, and plenty of forced cheer in the face of his massive shortcomings. Having lost big on his travel agency (which offered trips to such exotic locales as Janesville and Middleton) and his Dan Potack-E-Bay web store, Potacke’s moved on to his next venture: The Dan Potacke Show, a bi-weekly happy-hour talk show that kicks off Monday at The Frequency. As he prepared (or neglected to prepare) for guest interviews, monologues, and sketches, Potacke met up with Decider.
Decider: How are you doing today?
Dan Potacke: Oh, pretty good. I just spent the day doing what I normally do—goin’ through every page of the Wisconsin State Journal. Someday I hope that codes are gonna come out like in A Beautiful Mind. That hasn’t happened yet. Then, took a walk, nice brisk, cold, always helps me out. Then I came here!
D: In your last couple of commercials, you talked a lot about your personal life. What’s the status of that? Have you been remarried?
DP: Oh, no. I believe in the sacred vows of marriage, once made, can never be broken. Except by legal processes. I’m hoping to have an attorney on my show, to talk about how my ex-wife keeps on mailing me body parts from my Star Trek action figures. I can’t afford to really talk to an attorney, so I hope that if they come on my talk show, I can talk to them for free.
D: Have you invited any to the show?
DP: Yes! And some of them have yet to turn me down!
D: And what about your business ventures?
DP: Oh, I’ve got lots of things in the pipeline. You can never keep a good Potacke down! One thing I’ve been working on is a Dan Potacke 1K Fun Run, ‘cause 5K is a really long distance! Surprisingly enough, nobody wants to do that, and you’ve also gotta do things like pay to have the streets shut off. So, right now I’ve got nobody signed up for the run, and my whole event is costing me $8,000.
D: What were you hoping to raise money for?
DP: Maybe if I had thought of something, I woulda got more donations!
D: What made you want to put on a talk show?
DP: Well, I was trying to think of some sorta show that would utilize my talents, and I’ve been talkin’ since I was a year and a half old! And I love this city! I figure there’s gotta be lots of people in Madison who’s got interestin’ stories. For too long, talk shows have been limited to the two coasts: New York, and Los An-guh-lees. Now it’s time to bring ’em to the third coast: Madison, Wisconsin!
D: What exactly do you hope to accomplish?
DP: Well, there’s a number of purposes. First of all, no media venture in town would actually publish or air my ads. So I figured there was one sponsor that couldn’t turn me down: Me! So, a portion of this show, I’m just having as a venue to showcase my different business ventures. But also, I figured it would be a good way to meet people. I heard on the radio that networking is most important for 21st-century economic success.
D: Are you thinking up any new ventures?
DP: Well, I’m trying to have a dating site set up, where people will tell me what they look for in a date, and I’ll go and find people who match those qualities. And I’ll just go up on the street and go, “Hey! Would you be interested in this guy?” and hold up a picture. That way if they are, I can email that person back.
D: You’ve mentioned that you’re deep in debt. How did that happen?
DP: Well, I’ve had numerous lawsuits at a variety of my businesses, particularly the travel agency. There was some unpleasantness involving the Dells, and a place that I thought was a reputable theme park, but instead was just some guy’s creepy barn.
D: Guests lined up for the first show include Dane101’s Jesse Russell and Jessica Witham of Foxy Veronica’s Peach Pies. What kind of things do you hope to discuss with them?
DP: Oh, just how they’re doin’, what the things are interested in. With Jesse Russell, I’d really like to get some tips on how to interview, as I’ll be doing that quite frequently. I should probably do some research beforehand otherwise, but I think I’ll just roll with that first interview. And with Foxy Veronica’s Peach Pies, I’m really interested in knowing how a local baker survives in this economy. It’s really tough to sell pies around here.
D: Do you not know that they’re a burlesque troupe?
DP: In addition to selling pies? You don’t have to take your clothes off for people to like you.
D: How will you distinguish yourself from those East and West Coast talk show hosts? What’s something that Conan does that you wouldn’t do?
DP: Hmm. Sometimes Conan’s language gets a little blue. I don’t think I’d work in some of those four-letter words like “darn” or “crap.” That’s just between you and I that I just said that.
D: What do you think some of the challenges will be in starting the show?
DP: I didn’t imagine any challenges! I think this’ll go off perfectly! There are tons of people in Madison who are interesting, and I’m sure when you propose a family-friendly live talk show with audience participation, anybody’s gonna want to turn out for that show, particularly at the prime time slot of 6:30 p.m. on a Monday night!
D: Well, what do you usually find yourself doing at 6:30 on a Monday night, if that’s such a good time slot?
DP: Goin’ to The Dan Potacke Show!
D: You seem optimistic in the face of setbacks. What keeps you going?
DP: Well, when you fall off that horse, you gotta think to yourself, “The sun’ll come out tomorrow!”
D: Will you still be on the ground, having fallen off the horse?
DP: Yeah, but at least it’ll be nice and bright and sunny!
D: How do you go about preparing your opening monologue for the show?
DP: Hmm. Writing it, huh? I never thought that they write those things! Now I gotta come up with jokes. That’s gonna be tough. I though they just said the first thing that came to their heads.
D: What would be the first thing that came into your head when you first get onstage, and there’s lights in your face, a microphone, an audience?
DP: All those lights… all those people… [Sighs.] Wow. I didn’t think about the pressure. “Hi, people… how are you?” I’ll have to work on that.
D: How do you cope with pressure?
DP: I just drive forward without really thinking about it, ’cause when you think about it, that just gives doubt a chance to plant itself in your head, and doubt is the enemy of success. So is not wearing a tie.
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