What should we have Pete Rose sign when he comes to a Mallards game in August?
Put Charlie Hustle in the Hall Of Fame.
Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked over the workweek. Here are some things to think about as the weekend begins.
• The Madison Mallards made an announcement about their upcoming season, and surprisingly it wasn’t related to how awesome those new bleacher seats are going to be—the team has hooked up an appearance by Pete Rose, MLB’s all-time hits leader, for the MLB Alumni Game on August 14. Rose famously exited baseball in 1989 amidst accusations that he was gambling on baseball while managing the Cincinnati Reds—something he’s probably not super jazzed to discuss while dispensing autographs to fans. So when choosing memorabilia for Rose to sign, keep in mind that bats and balls will be the least offensive. That said, getting a Pete Rose-signed off-track betting slip will probably net more cash on eBay.
• Apparently bracing for a wave of Banksy-esque stunts in grocery stores around the state, the Wisconsin Grocer Association warned its members to be on the lookout for subversive stickers slapped on products of manufacturers deemed supportive of Walker and his union-busting efforts by union sympathizers. “These brats bust unions” and “labor rights flow away like a mountain stream” are the uninspired examples listed by Fox News in its report, aiming to discourage purchases from Johnsonville and Coors, respectively. Union leaders insist this “Stick it to Walker” campaign has nothing to do with their organizations—after all, union-commissioned stickers would be a hell of a lot more clever, like “Union workers drink microbrews—why don’t you?” and “Buying this clogs the arteries of the middle class!”
• Remember back when Mayor Dave’s coziness with Trek Bicycles was the height of political corruption in Madison? Ah, simpler times. Our bike-loving former mayor had worked out a deal pledging $100,000 in city reserve funds toward a bicycle rental system through Trek’s B-cycle program, a plan Paul Soglin criticized as a waste. But instead of killing the project, Soglin re-negotiated the deal this week to snag Madison a $99,999 discount. In exchange, Trek gets to keep all the profits from the program, rather than splitting them 50-50 with the city. The good news? Madison will be getting those 35 bike rental kiosks after all. The bad? When an army of tourists on rental bikes slows downtown traffic to a crawl, you can’t yell, “I get half of that shit, suckers!” while blasting past them.
• Walker might have the market covered on in-state conservative dickery, but nationally, Paul Ryan is the face of Wisconsin conservatives that want to steal your lunch money. He may be a punching bag for President Obama and other Democrats seeking to blast his Medicare-stomping “Path To Prosperity,” but he must have some support back at home, right? It seems at least a few of his constituents are unhappy with the whole “get your own damn insurance old folks, we’ve got corporate taxes to cut” approach Ryan is trying to promote in town hall meetings like the one in this video. The room turns on him around the 1:25 mark, when he insists that corporations are taxed too much. Maybe that silent majority was at home watching American Idol or something.
• It seems The Nightwatchman just can’t get Madison off his mind—images from the pro-union demonstrations at the Capitol appear throughout the video for Tom Morello’s newest single, “Union Town.” Footage from Madison’s protests was provided by Matt Wisniewski, who originally popularized drum circles set to Arcade Fire’s “Rebellion (Lies)” in the first weeks of the protests. The Nightwatchman song can be downloaded for free, and will be included in an EP that goes on sale May 17th, with proceeds benefiting national pro-labor efforts.
