Your greatest hopes and fears: celebrating New Year's Eve with a purpose

All of us give at least passing nod to rebirth when we tear December off the calendar and gaze expectantly at January. But every so often this ritual takes on added significance as we reflect on the 10 years in the rearview, while considering the wonders the next decade might have to offer. The upcoming 10-spot, (the Tens? Teens?) is fraught with peril: a still-shitty economy, ongoing wars, and that end-of-times bomb the Mayans and Woody Harrelson dropped on us. So with that in mind, you might want to consider some specific activities beyond just getting shit-faced that’ll fit with whatever you’re anticipating or dreading when the 2009 clock strikes midnight.

Fear: Loss of personal interaction through technology
If you’re scared of being lost in the binary-code wilderness, there’s no shortage of parties and big-ticket-at-the-door bar events to keep your shoulders rubbed and hot drunken breath on your neck. Basically, pick any bar, and you’re all set. But for a teetotaling change of pace, why not check out the biggest part in the city? U.S. Bank’s annual family-centric shindig is held at seven different locations, and includes everything from Wii competitions to “strolling magicians” to the chance to contribute to a bottle cap art mosaic. It’s all the fun without the projectile vomiting.

And even in this age of the music industry's digital bellyflopping, there are plenty of ways to protect your New Year's from shuffle-induced numbness. Bands local and otherwise are lined up to celebrate in person: Chicago's Kid Sister and several members of Minneapolis' Doomtree crew (among others) rap their way into the new decade at the Orpheum; The Dials (also from Chicago) help out the High Noon's customary NYE bill of local bands including His And Her Vanities and Screamin' Cyn Cyn And The Pons; and Madison adventure-popsters The Selfish Gene headline at The Frequency. (Get more detail on these and other shows by checking out our calendar at madison.avclub.com, or in next week's issue, which drops on New Year's Eve.)

Hope: A more seamless integration between your work life and life-life
Generally, New Year’s is one of those days when you can forget about the workaday grind and really cut loose. But what if you absolutely, positively have to be near a computer right until the clock hits 12? Luckily, Madison boasts several joints where booze flows and the wi-fi hums. Genna's Lounge (105 W. Main Street, 608-255-4770), Hawk’s Bar & Grill (425 State St., 608-256-4295), Babe’s Restaurant (5614 Schroeder Rd, 608-274-7300), and Buffalo Wild Wings (529 State St., 608-255-9464) all bizarrely pair libations with airborne bits and bytes. But if you’re going to be that guy on New Year’s with laptop in tow, be prepared for whatever befalls you (and it). And if none of that sounds cool, load up your gear and head over to one of Madison’s many Culver’s. For some reason, the home of the butterburger has wireless, too.

Fear: The apocalypse (Mayan or otherwise)
Apocalyptic fears aren’t new to this generation. Sill, why not use the 2012 doom and gloom as an excuse pile on the wretched excess? Nobody knows when the actual last supper will come. So try this for an evening out: Start at Esquire Club (1025 N. Sherman Ave., 608-249-0193) for 1-ounce twin lobster tails ($69.95), or Johnny Delmonico's (130 South Pinckney St., 608-257-8325) for a $38.95 a la carte tenderloin. Then head over to Eno Vino Wine Bar & Bistro (601 Junction Rd, 608-664-9565) for a bottle of ’99 Louis Roederer champagne ($370) before ending the night smoking a $14 Gurkha Ancient Reserve at Maduro (117 E. Main St., 608-294-9371).

Hope: Peace, love, and understanding
It can be hard not to feel a little helpless watching the hostilities in the Middle East drag on year after year, and that’s where a little understanding can help. Sadira performs Middle East traditional and contemporary dance specifically as a cultural bridge, and on New Year’s the company will be doing that at Shish Café (5510 University Ave., 608-236-9006) following a program of Arabian takht music. Keeping with the ethnic dance theme, sign up for some couples Salsa lessons held from 8 to 9 p.m. at The Cardinal (418 E. Wilson St., 608-257-2473), and then stick around for, well, more dancing. The week of New Year's is also a good time to reflect on existential questions of whence we came and where we’re going, so check out The Organic Diversity and Evolution exhibit at Memorial Library, which celebrates the 150th anniversary of Charles Darwin’s The Origin Of Species.

Fear: Angry right-wingers invading liberal oases like Madison
Most of us like it here, and most of us like it here because we get to be limp-wristed liberals safe in our lefty cocoon. But if we ever were to be invaded by scary folks, Madisonians would have to be prepared. (Don’t scoff, weirder invasions have happened. If you missed it the first time, Red Dawn’s being remade in ’10, dontcha know.) One method is to keep that body in fighting shape, and the Princeton Club is open 24/7. Throw on some sweats while everyone else is throwing back shots. Maybe even more important is keeping your brain sharp. Forward Theater Company’s post-9/11 comedy Why Torture Is Wrong And The People Who Love Them opens at Overture Center Playhouse on Wednesday, Dec. 30. It’ll provide plenty of mental ammo for any drunken verbal sparring you may partake in.

Hope: A return to simpler, more primitive living
Madison is never lacking for activities that fall under the "green" rubric, and the dawn of a new age is always great for recharging your sustainable batteries. The UW Arboretum (1207 Seminole Hwy, 608-263-7888) is hosting its annual New Year’s Eve Walk, complete with an organized hike and hot chocolate at the finish. It’s an excellent way to burn some calories before hitting one of the many restaurants that thrive by sourcing local foods: The Old Fashioned (23 N. Pinckney St., 608-310-4545), Harvest (21 N. Pinckney St., 608-255-6075), Alchemy (1980 Atwood Ave, 608-204-7644), and Ian’s Pizza (115 State St., 608-257-9248 ), to name a few. Speaking of which, this would be the night to welcome Madison’s new vegetarian-only haven, The Green Owl (1970 Atwood Ave., 608-285-5290) for some surprisingly real veggie takes on Italian-beef sandwiches and meatballs.