A “Sack Big Ben” fundraiser, a new Maritime song, and a new (Milwaukee) half sister for Oprah
More News Net
- City of Milwaukee planning new and exciting ways to ticket your car
- The Milwaukee streetcar project is still happening, whether you like it or not
- Prove you love Milwaukee by donating to a worthwhile local Kickstarter campaign for a change
- Cruel and vengeful God chuckles softly to self, announces first Summerfest headliner
- Milwaukee is a finalist in “The Mayors Challenge”—but could it actually win?
Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked throughout the weekend.
• Apparently a regional football team whose name escapes us—oh wait, it’s the GREEN BAY FUCKING PACKERS!!!—won a game last night that will enable it to play in another game, which we believe is called the SUPER FUCKING BOWL!!! But you probably already knew that, considering 85 percent of local television sets were tuned into the game yesterday.
• Local do-gooder Brent Gohde organized a local fundraiser for the Wisconsin Humane Society when the Packers played Michael Vick and the Eagles in the playoffs. Now that the Pack is squaring off vs. the Steelers in the Super Bowl, he’s asking people to donate $10 per Super Bowl sack to the Sexual Abuse Treatment Center. Check out Gohde’s Twitter feed for more information.
• Oprah Winfrey announced this morning that she has a half sister living in Milwaukee that she never knew about. In related news, a local woman is suddenly hella rich today.
• Attention Kevin Smith fans (if you’re still out there): His latest film Red State will be screening March 8 in Chicago. It’s the self-described work of “a fat, masturbating stoner.” Sounds like a real departure from his usual work!