News Net No fun: Area Bible thumpers and atheist busybodies successfully ruin everyone’s good time

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked over the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• America is a divided nation, and nowhere is that divide more evident than in the realm of religion. On one side, fundamentalist religious kooks fight to keep the country as Christian and God-fearing as possible, and roll out of their pews every time Target uses the word “holidays” in a commercial. On the other side, insufferable secular crusaders with too much time on their hands strive to keep God out of everyday life, and wet their Dockers every time a cross comes within 100 yards of a public school. And in Milwaukee, both sides came out in full force last week to ensure that no one—believers and non-believers alike—was having a good time.

First up, the Bible thumpers. According to ThirdCoast Digest, Phantom Cicada Theater’s production of The Bible: The Complete Word Of God (Abridged) was ousted from its performance space in Lapham Peak State Park last week. The trouble began when a pair of right-wing radio hosts took exception to the show, calling it a “blasphemous attack on Christianity.” A group of offended religious extremists contacted the DNR, and the production was swiftly shut down.

Of course, the show is the definition of “harmless religious satire,” and makes The Life Of Brian and Nunsense look like feces-covered crucifix art. The Bible: The Complete Word Of God (Abriged) is being moved to Next Act Theatre, where it will run Aug. 31-Sept. 9.

Up next, the secular busybodies. According to the Journal Sentinel, a Madison-based organization called the Freedom From Religion Foundation caused a stink over an admission promotion at last weekend’s Mexican Fiesta. It seems that organizers were offering a $5 discount for patrons who were planning to attend a Sunday Mass on the grounds. The FFRF claimed this nefarious ploy was somehow a violation of non-church-goers’ civil rights, and is currently fighting to ensure the promotion is eradicated from future events. The group successfully ferreted out and ended a similar promotion at this year’s Irish Fest, no doubt to the delight of the non-existant hordes of non-religious folks who regularly attend Milwaukee’s ethnic festivals.

• In more steamy Chris Abele/Sue Black news, Bruce Murphy at Urban Milwaukee delved into “The Tragedy of Chris and Sue,” while the “Chris” part of the equation opened up to OnMilwaukee.com’s affable Dave Begel.

• Milwaukee Magazine sat down with Trapper Schoepp And The Shades, who recently sang the national anthem at Miller Park.

• OnMilwaukee.com dutifully reported that a writer from Canada wrote some nice things about Milwaukee. Great job, Milwaukee!

• The Milwaukee Public Museum’s “Cleopatra: The Search For The Last Queen Of Egypt” exhibit lost $1 million, reported The Business Journal. Too bad, Milwaukee!

• This week’s recommended shows: Will Hoge at Shank Hall Aug. 30; Jucifer at Cactus Club Aug. 31; Brief Candles at Cactus Club Sept. 1; Field Report at Linneman’s Sept. 1; Sat. Nite Duets at Circle-A Cafe Sept. 2 (Green Gallery East benefit show).