Brewers Winter Warm-Up
The city's favorite jocks get together to put on a show
CJ Foeckler
Ryan Braun (left) chats it up with Bob Uecker.
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The biggest question of Friday night’s sold-out Brewers Winter Warm-Up at Riverside Theater wasn’t “How will the team cope without C.C. Sabathia?” or “Will the Crew make a return to the playoffs in ’09?” but, “Which bachelorette should go home with J.J. Hardy?”
The answer was Kate Armitage, a Milwaukee woman (and former Decider staffer) who beat out three other local ladies vying for the boyishly handsome star shortstop in a Dating Game spoof called Hot For Hardy. So it went during a night that split the difference between pre-season pep rally and old-timey vaudeville comedy show. The Brewers hold events like this for baseball-hungry fans every winter, getting the faithful properly primed for another year by re-visiting the previous season’s highlights and promising even better results for the campaign ahead. Winter warm-ups aren’t normally quite like this, though, and they aren’t usually held at non-sports-oriented venues like the Riverside. So, while there was plenty of stiff, straight-forward baseball talk marinated in optimistic sports clichés from the likes of manager Ken Macha and owner Mark Attanasio, there was also a Family Feud parody hosted by Bill Schroeder and a stand-up comedy routine about newly-signed pitcher Trevor Hoffman’s aversion to cold weather. At times it was kind of like watching a summer camp talent show performed by sheepish jocks. (Actually, it was exactly like that.) But because everyone—participants and audience members alike—was having so much fun, you’d have to be a black-hearted, baseball-hating commie (or a Cubs fan) not to love it.
The night’s biggest star, obviously, was long-time radio announcer Bob Uecker, who began the night standing in front of a cheap-looking late-night talk show set comprised of a desk, couch, and faux-city skyline, an immediate cue to the show’s poor man’s Tonight Show format. Uecker then started in on the usual Uecker stuff about what a terrible baseball player he used to be. (“The most I made in one season was $17,000, and $11,000 of that came from selling other players’ equipment.” Rim shot, please!) Calling this well-worn material for Uecker is like saying Prince Fielder may have a disagreement or two with his father. But Uecker—the undisputed king of old school Milwaukee awesomeness—provided the charisma that the players lose away from baseball. (Ryan Braun hitting homeruns in the bottom of the 9th? Electrifying. Ryan Braun talking about hitting homeruns in the bottom of the 9th? Not so much.)
Then again, in the middle of winter, even Cosby-sweatered general manager Doug Melvin has a raw, white-mustachioed magnetism. Seeing pretty much all of the organization’s major players, executives, and broadcasters—the only missing notables were Ben Sheets, Bill Hall, FSN's Craig Coshun—all in one place was a welcome reminder that baseball, as well as spring, aren’t as far off as they seem with February and March still ahead of us. It was the next best thing to a sunny 40-degree day.
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