Jock Itch Eat it, Nike: Packers will keep their old uniforms, thank you very much

Jonathan Daniel NO! I DON'T WANT IT!

No doubt taking great pains to select only the finest fabrics for its child laborers to craft into American football clothing, Nike recently unveiled redesigns of all 32 NFL jerseys. However, as if unappreciative of the devastating global Air Max footprint left behind in Nike’s quest to sort of change some shirts, the eternally noble Green Bay Packers said, “No thanks. We’ll just use the old stuff.” Along with the Philadelphia Eagles, the Packers rejected all the changes to the uniform, including slight design tweaks and a new, lighter fabric, which is almost certainly viewed as totally bitch-ass to a Green Bay team that would probably prefer to play without helmets. Telling Nike to eat it, and having a quarterback willing to call Nickelback fans dumb, are just two of the many things that elevate the illustrious green-and-gold warriors to near-deity status. The NFL can have all the high-tech uniforms and crappy Canadian band-soundtracking Thanksgivings it wants: The Pack will stick with old shirts and Todd Rundgren.

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