News Net Fine, if it’ll make you happy, Chief Flynn will talk about that pesky Water Street video

Since sifting through dull newspapers, hyperbolic blogs, and overflowing RSS feeds for meaningful news can be an arduous process, News Net catches and compiles both the amusing and the significant reports that were overlooked over the weekend. Here are some things to think about as the workweek begins.

• Nearly a week after video surfaced of a Milwaukee police officer punching a subdued drunken driving suspect in the head, Milwaukee Police Chief Ed Flynn finally got around to addressing the matter Friday afternoon, because fine, if you’re really that interested in the whole thing he’ll talk about it. But according to WISN and the Journal Sentinel, there wasn’t much to tell: Flynn defended the attack—er, the “focused strikes”—and even quantified them down to the half-second:

“We do not have any information now that indicates that the 1.5 seconds of force employed to get this individual’s hands behind him for handcuffing were on their face clearly beyond the policy and training that our officers were subjected to. We don’t have anybody going against what they were trained to do.”

The officer in question—Eric Ratzmann, 42—has nevertheless been placed on desk duty while an internal investigation is being conducted. This isn’t the first time Ratzmann has been in trouble: He was previously suspended due to mental health issues, and his ex-wife sought domestic violence restraining orders against him in 2010. Not that that has anything to do with the Water Street incident, mind you. According to Flynn: “Now I’m sure if you dig enough into anybody else’s life, you’re going to find something bad about them. That doesn’t necessarily address the facts before us.”

• If there’s anything to be learned from that one episode of The Brady Bunch, it’s this: Don’t fuck with Hawaiian tiki gods. That simple lesson was apparently lost on whoever decided to rip off (literally) three tiki masks from Foundation’s ladies lounge Friday night. Foundation owner Don Nelson explains on his Facebook page:

“Last night (April 21st) someone stole 3 tiki masks from the Ladies Lounge at my beloved Foundation Tiki Bar. They literally ripped them out of the wall, leaving plaster all over. Those who know me and our bar, know that most of the decor is from my personal collection, or were gifts from patrons, making this extra bogus. Any information leading to the apprehension of this morally corrupt individual will be handsomely rewarded.”

So, anyone know if Mike Lookinland was in town Friday night?

• Ryan Braun was awarded his National League MVP trophy prior to Sunday’s game at Miller Park. Former Brewers MVP Robin Fucking Yount handed Braun the award, because he’s Robin Yount and he’s awesome. ESPN notes that Braun received a “brief standing ovation” during the ceremony, and goes on to remind readers about that PED thing it may or may not have “broken.” Stay classy, ESPN.

• WMSE’s 2nd Annual Buy-Local Bazaar is scheduled for April 28 at the Kern Center. More than 50 local businesses will be represented at the event, including Milwaukee-based record labels Anamoly, Uni-fi, Dope Folks, and Dusty Medical.

• A vacant Brady Street home scheduled for demolition has been temporarily saved, reports Michael Horne of ThirdCoast Digest.

• OnMilwaukee.com shot the shit with the always-talented, always-busy Faythe Levine.

• And the award for Best Local Headline Of The Weekend goes to “I’m no pusher man,” by OnMilwaukee.com’s Dave Begel. Congrats!