Five Guys’ pre-order app cuts down time between wanting and actually eating food

Standing in a long line can be demoralizing and exhausting, especially if it’s a line to get lunch. Blood sugar is low, the tummy is growling like an evil gremlin on a motorcycle, and tantalizing smells wafting from the kitchen only make the experience more torturous.

At Five Guys Burgers And Fries on Oakland Avenue, the lines can sometimes be pretty brutal, and shifting from one foot to the other with all the other schmoes while gazing at oversized photographs of double cheeseburgers is a particular kind of hell for the beer-bellied gourmand.

But lo, who is that dude sailing right to the front of the line, confidently leaning in to pick up his fully completed order? What’s going on here?

That dude is using the recently launched Five Guys Android app, which allows him to avoid the lines at Five Guys by pre-ordering lunch. He’s selected jalapeno peppers, onions, and mustard on his bacon cheeseburger, plus a large Coca-Cola, and a large Cajun-style bag of fries. That bastard also was able to choose his pickup time. Try not to hit him in the face.

The app also finds the closest Five Guys Burgers; now that’s a worthy application of global satellite positioning.