Five things Jimmy Fallon could learn from fake SNL talk show hosts
They might not be actual hosts, but we'd still rather watch these guys do Late Night
The Carsenio Show
Hosting a talk show looks like the easiest job in the world: You sit behind a desk, talk to celebrities, and get paid millions of dollars for a one-hour workday. But it only seems like a breeze because the masters—Johnny Carson, David Letterman, Conan O’Brien—make it look that way. Watching Jimmy Fallon's flailing attempts at comedy on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon reminds us that delivering tired Obama jokes and shepherding famous people through 10-minute interviews can be torturously difficult, if not downright painful.
Ever since taking over Late Night from Conan O’Brien in March, Fallon has looked lost, like a kid who didn’t prepare anything for speech class and is trying to coast by on smirking cutesiness. Though, to be fair, he has only been at it for two months and might get better with experience and a little instruction. With that in mind, Decider presents our favorite Saturday Night Live talk show parodies for lessons that Fallon—who appears Saturday at Pabst Theater—can use to be a better host.
Lesson No. 1: Be as charismatic as James Brown and early-’80s Eddie Murphy. Failing that, get Dr. Joyce Brothers naked in a hot tub.
Suggested text: James Brown’s Celebrity Hot Club Party
Advanced studies: As Murphy/Brown demonstrates, a talk show host needn’t feel tied to the traditional “desk and comfy chair” set up. Fallon could really spruce up that next interview with Jason Segel if he joined him in piping hot water and let their private parts flop amongst each other.
Lesson No. 2: Study the competition, and shamelessly steal their best “white people” jokes.
Suggested text: The Carsenio Show
Advanced studies: Carson is the gold standard for late night talk show hosts, and even he felt the need to update his image (in this SNL parody, at least) by getting a flat-top haircut and pointing out that the way white people dance is, in fact, wild.
Lesson No. 3: Use your high-profile position to hit that sexy celebrity shit.
Suggested text: Plug Away With Harvey Fierstein
Advanced studies: The raison d’être for late night talk shows is to be a central cog in the non-stop show biz publicity meat grinder. It sounds depressing if you’re the one holding the handle, but it's surprising what celebrities are willing to do to sell their wares. What exactly will Lee Iacocca do to Harvey Fierstein if he buys a Ram Van? We don’t know, and we don’t want to know.
Lesson No. 4: Believe in yourself, even if you have a sixth grade education and are completely fucking insane.
Suggested text: Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet
Advanced text: Fallon wouldn’t look so ill at ease if he had more confidence in his abilities as a talk show host. Remember: That parrot is not Jimmy Fallon. And he cannot use your credit card to order a stereo for his birdhouse.
Lesson No. 5: Act like Barry Gibb.
Suggested text: The Barry Gibb Talk Show
Advanced text: As himself, Fallon is timid and awkward in the host’s chair. But as Barry Gibb, Fallon rages with the kind of self-assurance and crack comic timing that only comes with a white leisure shirt and fake beard. Gibb is the source of the mojo that the real Fallon, so far, is lacking.
