Freedom isn’t free: 4 election day discounts and freebies
Wisconsin has been in the center of a political storm for several years. The string of recall ads, the selection of a local dreamboat senator as a vice-presidential pick, and a battleground-state status have made everyone’s social media streams awkward to say the least. But tomorrow is the day when everyone gets to pull the trigger on a decision they undoubtedly made six months ago, and when those rare undecided voters have to shit or get off the pot, as Lincoln once said. Tomorrow is also the day when local businesses will reward voters with a bevy of discounts and deals. The A.V. Club encourages all readers to vote, especially when free beer, pizza, and porn are involved.
The Lowlands Group (Café Hollander, Café Centraal, Café Benelux, Trocadero)
Your vote gets you: A free house bier with your sticker.
Liberals love it because: The Europub vibe of these bars is exactly the kind of socialist nanny state they want Wisconsin to become.
Conservatives love it because: They can show support for local businesses once they pound down the bonus brewski.
Independents love it because: At least they still get something for voting Libertarian.
The Tool Shed
Your vote gets you: 10 percent off an in-store purchase.
Liberals love it because: They were going to buy that double-headed dildo anyway.
Conservatives love it because: The money saved on a DVD copy of Atlas Buttplugged can be put back into the stock market.
Independents love it because: The fate of the free world depends on someone stocking up on Astroglide.
Your vote gets you: The first 100 pints of Lakefront are free starting at 8 p.m.
Liberals love it because: Free beer? Socialism at its finest.
Conservatives love it because: Stopping in at 8 still leaves plenty of time to get back to the suburbs.
Independents love it because: It’s a reward for waiting until the last possible moment to pick a side.
Your vote gets you: Both Toppers’ large pizza and famous triple-order of Breadstix are $5 delivery or carryout, no “I voted” sticker required.
Liberals love it because: Breadstix are the perfect 2 a.m. post-bender food.
Conservatives love it because: Pizza is as American as apple pie.
Independents love it because: You don’t even have to vote to get it, so you can pull one over on The Man.