4th And 26 Green Bay will go 13-3 this year, and this is how it will happen

Week 1: At Philadelphia
Coming into the ’10 season as generously hyped Super Bowl contenders, The Packers open on the road against one of the NFL’s most consistent teams. Considering that The Eagles are breaking in a new starting quarterback, this seems like a game we should win; but given the Pack’s occasional lapses into over-confident sluggishness, this one worries us. Eagles 20, Packers 17

Week 2: Buffalo
If the Packers do make the Super Bowl this year—as much as we love our offense, that seems like a big "if" in a suddenly dominant NFC—they’ll have to survive a backbreaking schedule. Two games vs. Detroit aside, this is the only gimme we have. Packers 35, Bills 10

Week 3: At Chicago
We know who the enemy is in the NFC North, and the Bears aren’t at the big kids’ table yet. Hopefully, Brian Urlacher will break his hand after taking a swing at Jay Cutler during the pre-game warm-ups. Failing that, this is a tough but totally winnable game. Packers 24, Bears 14

Week 4: Detroit
Here’s our suggested game plan against the Lions: Show up. Packers 30, Lions 9

Week 5: At Washington
After the Packers dropped to 4-4 last year with a loss to the lowly Buccaneers, we calmly and coolly called for Mike McCarthy’s fat head to be put on a stick. Failing that, we wanted him replaced by one of the many superstar coaches wandering the wilderness of NFL unemployment—like, say, Mike Shanahan. Now the Pack will face the newly hired Shanny and new quarterback Donovan McNabb for another NFL East battle of attrition. After two cake games in three weeks, we ought to be suitably rested. Packers 17, Redskins 14

Week 6: Miami
Honest question: Will Miami residents care more at this point about regular-season Dolphins football, or Heat pre-season basketball? Either way, it should be a good day at Lambeau when the Fins take their talents to Ashwaubenon. Packers 31, Dolphins 17

Week 7: Minnesota
Here we go, Packers fans. Can we finally beat the ol’ gunslinger, or will we be embarrassed yet again on national television? Actually, the more pressing question might be, “Will Brett Favre’s ankle make it to Week Seven?” Let’s hope it does, so we can get this monkey off of our back. Packers 34, Vikings 31

Week 8: At New York Jets
Our tour of Favre’s post-Packers franchises continues with the team that’s replaced San Diego as the league leaders in baseless bragging. Yes, we find Rex Ryan’s stomach adorable, too, but didn’t these guys back into the playoffs last year? The Jets’ media-darling status is annoying, but winning a road game against a tough defense is a tall order, even for the Pack’s offense. Jets 20, Packers 10

Week 9: Dallas
If the Packers are as good as we hope they are, they must win this game. Honestly, if we lose to the freaking Cowboys at home, we’re going to feel like packing it in. It’s gut-check time, people. Packers 28, Cowboys 24

Week 11: At Minnesota
Coming off a bye week, the Packers will be marinated in two weeks of Favre hype. We’d love to sweep the Vikings, but Favre seems to have gotten over the “playing like shit in domes” thing since he left Green Bay. Vikings 27, Packers 14

Week 12: At Atlanta
Atlanta is coming off back-to-back winning seasons for the first time ever, but its passing defense was terrible last year and likely won’t be a whole lot better this season. Again, road games in domes can be doozies, but Aaron Rodgers ought to carve up the Falcons secondary like a plastic surgeon on a Kardashian sister. Packers 38, Atlanta 21

Week 13: San Francisco
As the only current NFL coach who’s on record as having mooned his own team, Mike Singletary either is the league’s greatest motivator, or the most overzealous fan of Remember The Titans. Either way, the 49ers are saddled with Alex Smith at quarterback, who likely won’t justify being picked over Rodgers in the 2005 draft at this game. Packers 23, 49ers 13

Week 14: At Detroit
Did we show up last time? Good. Let’s do that again. Packers 37, Lions 7

Week 15: At New England
As tempted as we are to throw dirt on the Patriots, a late-season, nationally televised road trip to Foxboro shouldn’t be taken lightly. Still, this is our last road game of the regular season, and if we’re seriously thinking we have a shot at a championship, this is another game we should step up and win. So, let’s be optimistic. Packers 20, Patriots 17

Week 16: New York Giants
The Giants have fond memories of Lambeau; they beat us there in 2008 to advance to the Super Bowl. Fortunately, we now have a quarterback who doesn’t compulsively throw interceptions when the game is on the line. Packers 21, Giants 10

Week 17: Chicago
The Packers should have a playoff spot sewn up at this point, while the Bears will be playing for a high draft pick. Seems like a big shoulder-shrug to us, though McCarthy will likely rally the troops to maintain momentum going into the post-season. After that, our crystal ball fades. Packers 16, Bears 6