If you’re planning on having sex and using drugs at your favorite Wisconsin nude beach this summer, you’ll have to do it on the weekend
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Spring has finally sprung, especially if your definition of “spring” is “20 degrees, windy, and miserable.” Yes, despite the best intentions of the vernal equinox, the entire state of Wisconsin is still in full “snot-freezing cold” mode. But warmer temperatures will arrive, eventually, and with them the chance to pay a visit to your favorite Wisconsin nude beach and have tons of steamy nude sex and abuse tons of steamy nude drugs. Oh, wait. You won’t be able to do that this year. At least on weekdays.
The Huffington Post and The Christian Science Monitor are reporting that a popular nude beach 25 miles northwest of Madison, near Mazomanie on the Wisconsin River, will be shut down on weekdays this year in an effort to curb sex and drugs in the surrounding woods. The beach is one of the nation’s most popular destinations for those who find swimwear and shame too constricting, and it’s been a thorn in the side of the Wisconsin Department of (Au) Natural(e) Resources for decades. Past measures like closing off sections of the woods and increasing surveillance have failed to put a stop to illicit behavior, and the dastardly nudists who make the beach their own semi-private pleasure grounds have refused to play nice. Give ’em an inch and they take a mile, we suppose.
But why is the beach being closed on weekdays and not weekends? The Christian Science Monitor explains:
Nate Kroeplin, who supervises DNR law enforcement in Dane County, said wardens reviewed data on citations and determined most violations happen on weekdays, when fewer people are around to police each other’s behavior. Of the 92 citations wardens issued for disorderly conduct or drugs in the beach area between 2008 and 2012, 83 were given on weekdays, he said.
So take heed, lovers of letting it all hang out: keep the freaky stuff in the bedroom during the week, and make sure to hire a spotter for those public T.G.I.F. trysts.