Jock Itch John Axford shaved his ’stache last night, and here’s the terrifying proof

If there’s one thing that has put a stopper in that whole “Win-sconsin” movement of the last two years (aside from the Bucks, but the Bucks obviously don’t count), it’s the 2012 Milwaukee Brewers, currently eight games under .500. A variety of factors have been at play here, most of them injuries. Five different Brewers starters are out, including Mat Gamel, Alex Gonzalez, Chris Narveson, and now Narveson’s replacement, Marco Estrada, who hurt himself by running to first base yesterday. Even Carlos Gomez recently fell victim to the injury bug, suggesting that there’s something more nefarious at work here than just bad luck. And Brewers closer John Axford, for one, is determined to do something about it.

Late last night, Axford tweeted this image, hashtagged #RIP, of his once-mighty facial hair lying prone and wounded on his bathroom sink. The culprit: a mighty pair of clippers, standing over its victim. Because if Ron Roenicke is hesitant to do something radical to stop the Brewers’ slide, then Axford—currently sporting a 4.11 ERA—is sure as hell not going to sit idly by.

Time will tell whether the newly barefaced closer’s bold move—ridding baseball of one of its most prominent mustaches—will result in a change of fate for the Brewers. Time will also tell whether the hair, devastated by Axford’s betrayal, will rise again, find a new host, and seek vivid blood-red revenge against him in the bottom of the ninth inning of some far-off playoff game. But as the Brewers travel west to face the Los Angeles Dodgers this weekend, it’s obvious that at least something is different about the struggling team desperate to get on track.

#RIP, little buddy. You will certainly be missed.