Love you live (but hate your music): 4 bad bands with great live shows

Rock concerts are pretty much all the same. The singer is dead center, the drummer’s in the back, and everybody else stands off to the side. The aim is to play your instruments more or less competently and with a little pizzaz—you know, maybe a couple spins, fist pumps, a guitar raised to the heavens, some deadpan chit-chat, stuff like that. Some bands need a little more pizzaz than others because, well, they kind of suck. One of those bands is GWAR, which will showcase its fantastically boorish and musically suspect live show tonight at The Rave/Eagles Club. Before then, The A.V. Club takes a look at the ragtag bunch of Scumdogs and three other bands you need to see live even if you hate their music.

1. GWAR

Why they suck: To the uninitiated, thrash metal can sound like someone ripping your ears off, setting them on fire, and stomping out the remaining embers. It doesn't help that GWAR’s albums have zero crossover appeal, so if you don't absolutely love metal sub-genres, you'll find its records nauseating. And with band members named Balsac The Jaws Of Death and Beefcake The Mighty, it's also hard to take them seriously.
Why they rock live anyway: If you don’t find grown men shooting blood cannons and dismembering effigies while clad in orc-like costumes entertaining, then nothing in this world is or ever will be. Frontman Oderus Urungus even goes so far as to shoot the crowd with a grotesque phallus he calls his Cuttlefish. For how disgusting all this is, it's played as a big joke. Why else would they appear in character on talk shows like Jerry Springer, The Joan Rivers Show, and Fox News' Red Eye to discuss their preposterous mythology?

2. Kiss

Why they suck: For its status as rock legend, Kiss sure don’t play their instruments or write songs very well. Also, none of their studio albums are any good, which explains why Kiss has historically been more successful with live records. (Though the live records have required extensive overdubbing in order to sound competent.)
Why they rock live anyway: Nobody has embellished stage personas better than Kiss. The members spit blood, thrust their crotches, set off pyrotechnics, and Gene Simmons slithers his tongue in ways no one knew possible. They herald themselves as superheroes from another universe, and, seriously, who cares if Superman can’t play a decent guitar solo?

3. Marilyn Manson

Why he sucks: Marilyn Manson’s big break came when he did a “scary” version of Eurhythmics’ “Sweet Dreams”—kind of like how Limp Bizkit broke through around the same time with a “heavy” version of George Michaels’ “Faith” and countless shitty pop-punk bands since have had hits with “punk” versions of ’80s songs. Manson’s music hasn’t grown appreciably in quality or ambition since.
Why he rocks live anyway: In his heyday, Manson was the gross-out rocker-du-jour for misunderstood teenagers looking to lash out against the cushy, affluent lives the system was totally imposing on them. Today, seeing Manson is akin to catching a sixtysomething Alice Cooper chopping off dolls’ heads—all the fake boobs and swastikas have tons of nostalgia value for aging Gen-Xers.

4. Blue Man Group

Why they suck: Tobias Funke’s favorite group has talent for drumming, but the performance is just downright gimmickry. That is, unless we’re missing the musical value of pouring paint on drums.
Why they rock live anyway: You can’t say gimmickry isn’t fun. Catching and swallowing copious amounts of gumballs and marshmallows, sticking cameras down audience members' throats, those awkward Twinkie dinner scenes—that’s entertainment!