Blog My case against Motörhead

For die-hard Motörhead fans—who will surely show up in force for Saturday’s show at The Rave/Eagles Ballroom—the hard-living punk-metal band is sacred. Since its formation in 1975, Motörhead has released 19 studio albums and made frontman Lemmy Kilmister's face-moles the most famous deformities in rock. What the band hasn't done, however, is anything relevant since 1980—the year after I was born. Considering its trifecta of best-known albums (Overkill, Bomber, and Ace Of Spades) were all released in 1979 and 1980, that totals just under 30 years of trying to stay relevant, failing, and somehow retaining a badass image. Maybe it's because my musical upbringing was rooted in '90s death metal and local pop-punk bands, but I just never understood the appeal of Motörhead, for several reasons.

They’re only known for one song
Yup, it's "Ace Of Spades." It's a great song, sure, but 29 years after its release, not only can you can hear it in myriad video games, but also in a totally rockin’ AT&T commercial. Forget the lighters, just hold up your iPhone at the Motörhead concert! And then try to name another Motörhead song anybody but hard-core fans care about.

They've worked with the WWE... multiple times
Look, I love pro wrestling, but it's not because of the bands WWE owner Vince McMahon lures into appearing on his weekly programs and monthly pay-per-views. Maybe I should forgive that Motörhead joined the ranks of Kid Rock, P.O.D., and Alter Bridge as a willing accompaniment to body slams—it is the least offensive band on WWE’s guestlist, after all. But did Motörhead really have to contribute four fucking songs to America’s greatest fake sport?

Reality TV is more important than touring
Mikkey Dee, Motörhead's drummer since 1992's March Or Die (and who also played with ultra-evil King Diamond), is sitting out the majority of this North American tour in order to appear on the first season of Sweden's Kändisdjungeln, known in the U.S. and U.K. as I'm a Celebrity... Get Me Out Of Here! I can't imagine that the paycheck for Kändisdjungeln is greater than what Dee would make on tour, but maybe he's tired of wasting his obvious talent playing the same drum beat night in and night out.

All those shitty songs it contributed to shitty film soundtracks
Let's review Motörhead's IMDB entry: "You Better Run"  was re-recorded for the SpongeBob SquarePants Movie as "You Better Swim," "Born To Raise Hell" was re-recorded with Ice-T and Whitfield Crane (of Ugly Kid Joe fame) for Airheads, and their contribution to Hellraiser III: Hell On Earth's soundtrack is pure cheese. Let’s just say Martin Scorsese probably won’t call on Lemmy to score his next movie.

They're hypocrites
Lemmy will be the first person to tell you that Motörhead shouldn't be lumped in with metal bands. He prefers to align Motörhead with punk and rock acts. As he said in a 2000 interview with earcandymag.com, “We had a lot more in common with The Damned than Black Sabbath. I mean we have nothing in common at all with Judas Priest." How about that? This is the same band that recently shared a bill across the U.S. and Canada with Heaven And Hell, Testament and—who's this?—Judas Priest. Motörhead even recorded "Breaking The Law" for a Judas Priest tribute disc.