Jock Itch Nyjer Morgan, Cory Provus, “Front Row Amy” to appear at La Crosse Man Fest

If Tim Allen’s Last Man Standing and Miller Lite commercials have taught us anything, it’s that dudes just can’t get a break. Seriously—could you ladies lay off the nagging for just one second so we can get back to watching the game? If you happen to be one of these miserable, browbeaten, emasculated men—and let’s face it, you probably are—you’ll want to leave the ol’ ball and chain behind Nov. 12 and check out the second annual Man Fest in La Crosse. Finally, in a world controlled and custom-tailored to women, a celebration of all things man!

What can one expect at Man Fest? According to the event’s ode-to-Geocities website, “cars, bikes, trucks, chicks, beer, food, man caves, tools, tattoos, big ass TVs, games, sports, toys, hunting and fishing, live events, and a boat load of stuff you can WIN!” And in between a lingerie show and the “Hooter Girl Olympics,” you’ll be able to hang out with a handful of Brewers luminaries: Nyjer Morgan is scheduled to appear, as well as Brewers radio announcer Cory Provus, who may or may not be biding his time until he jumps ship to Minnesota.

But perhaps of more interest to a dude who would actually attend something like Man Fest, OnMilwaukee.com traffic-generator “Front Row Amy” will be on hand. Yes, the woman who is currently enjoying hour two of her allotted 15 minutes will be “hanging out” (their words, not ours) from 2 p.m. to 4 p.m., no doubt discussing the ins and outs of scoring sweet Brewers tickets and leaning forward during every pitch. Can we get an “Ar, ar, ar, ar” fellas?