Someone finally got around to making a “Bon Iver Erotic Stories” Tumblr

The music of Bon Iver can evoke any number of things: fireplace-warmed cabins, snow-flecked evergreen forests, getting shitfaced in Milwaukee. But taken a few steps further, the dulcet tones of Justin Vernon and company can conjure up something steamier, like “40 solid minutes of loving cunnilingus,” or “chopping up heirloom tomatoes for our frittata.” A new “Bon Iver Erotic Stories” Tumblr has all these juicy scenes and more, ranging from the innocent (“Sometimes Bon Iver tenderly whispers, ‘Can I be the little spoon now?’”) to the perfectly ridiculous (“This morning, after our passionate and tender lovemaking, Bon Iver brought me fresh-brewed coffee in a mug he’d carved out of the branch of a tree that fell in the wind. I sipped it while he hummed and assembled his ice-fishing gear.”) Think of it as Fifty Shades Of Grey for the wooly hat set, with less “Red Rooms Of Pain” and more “perfect spiderwebs.”