Talkin' Baseball: A Brewers mid-season check-up

Pre-season previews are a masturbatory necessity of sports writing: It’s impossible to get through the off-season without reading one, yet they're an unsatisfying stand-in for writing about actual games. Even more annoying is that few commentators ever seem to get called out for their stupid predictions. Here at Decider, we’re not ones to hide our gaffes. So as the Crew nudges past the halfway point of the season, we’ll go all the way back to March to rifle through our dirty laundry, while taking a quick peek ahead to the second half.

Our prediction: “New manager Ken Macha appears to be much less of a coddler.”
Reality: Every time we watch a game, we fully expect to see Macha in the dugout covered in pigeons, with Willie Randolph standing next to him dropping breadcrumbs. Macha’s shown that his idea of a dirt-kicking tirade is uncrossing his legs and blinking, but still, he’s one thing Ned Yost rarely was: a composed and unflappable leader. If a player isn’t hitting—even if he’s a starter—he’s treated to a “mental break” or moved down in the order. If a bench player is raking—thanks, Cubs, for Casey McGehee!—he’s rewarded with a spot in the starting lineup. Seems simple, but that obviously wasn’t always the case with Steady Neddy. And for that reason alone, it’s tough to quibble with his non-fiery, take-no-shit approach.

Our prediction: “Hoffman’s Legion-ball heater notwithstanding, his addition can only be a good thing . . .”
Reality: Sixteen straight saves to start the year. Eighteen of 19 in save opportunities. Eighteen straight appearances without giving up a run. A 1.93 ERA. Five walks on the season. Teammates tongue-bathing him for his all-around excellence. Yup, we think we nailed this one. That said, has he been mortal in the past three weeks? Yes. Will opposing batters continue to hit his 86-mph gas in the second half? Presumably. At age 41, will he wear down as the season goes on? Likely. Would the Crew be five or six games worse without him right now? Undoubtedly.

Our prediction: “Hopefully [Yovani] Gallardo will be the workhorse [Ben] Sheets never was, but recent history suggests that might not be the case.”
Reality: Even if you dip a steaming turd in chocolate, it’s still going to taste like shit. There’s a lot of baseball yet to be played, but to date, we couldn't have choked more on our assessment of Yoga. Gallardo’s been ridiculously consistent, and has often looked like he has the stuff to someday win a Cy Young. If you dare, take a moment to consider how scary the ’08 team would have been if he’d pitched more than 24 innings. You do it for us, because we can’t bear to think about it.

Our Prediction: “If the [C.C.] Sabathia signing was a Fourth of July parade, bringing on Braden Looper was like that sad fart sound a balloon makes as the air slowly leaks out.”
Reality: While we were probably a little harsh on Loop, he’s still been as average as starting pitchers come: He rarely eats innings, he has some ghastly outings, and there isn’t even a hint of excitement when he pitches. In other words, he’s exactly like Jeff Suppan, only for $8 million less per year. While that’s certainly a positive, it’s not exactly the stuff of tickertape parades.

Our Prediction: “Outside of the Brewers and the Cubs, the NL Central is shaping up, once again, to stink like Prince Fielder’s jock.”
Reality: For the record, we’ve never taken a whiff of Fielder’s jock, so we're only assuming it isn’t fresh. But we know the NL Central has been merely okay so far this season. The annoying Cards have been hanging around the top of the division all year long, while the Cubs have scuffled mightily due in no small part to the questionable signing of Milton Bradley. (Who would have guessed that a guy with a reputation for being a total asshole would act like a total asshole and destroy Chicago’s clubhouse unity?) The Brewers and Cards have jockeyed for the top spot most of the year by playing decent—but not exceptional—baseball, while the Reds have been a surprise by holding their own in the middle of the NL Central mash-up. It’s easy to dismiss the Astros and Pirates as castoffs, but they’re each within seven games of first. In short, the division’s a mess. The Mark DeRosa pick-up should ensure the Cards will hang around, and it’s hard to imagine with all the Cubs’ talent and pitching they won’t make a second-half run. So don’t put that goat mask in mothballs just yet.

What’s next?
The ’09 Brewers have turned out to be a tough team to handicap. There was the excruciatingly slow start, followed by the blistering streak in late April and May. June brought two of the most dramatic comebacks you’ll ever see, amid mediocre play resulting from spotty starting pitching and some big-time suckage in the hitting department. Ryan Braun and Fielder have somehow exceeded their stratospheric expectations, while Corey Hart and J.J. Hardy have underperformed with their sticks. Pre-season nobodies like Mitch Stetter, Todd Coffey, Mark DiFelice, and Seth McClung have been dominant. McGehee and Craig Counsell have come out of nowhere to play, you know, fucking awesome. And Bill Hall has sunk to depths where even his monster contract can’t save him from a regular spot on the bench.

And through it all, the Brewers are 43-39, compared to 44-38 last year. No one in the division or wildcard race is looking like they can run away with it, so barring any more catastrophes like Rickie Weeks’ season-ending injury, the Crew should be in the mix until the end—even though there won’t be a 290-pound horse sauntering into town to carry them to the playoffs. A little less exciting to be sure, but no matter what, we’ll drink our beers while listening to Uecke, watch Fielder and Braun launch their moon shots, and blame everything that goes wrong on Suppan and Hall. Regardless of how it all shakes out, that sounds like a pretty decent summer to us.