Talkin' Baseball: Brewers '09 season preview
Four things we think will happen this season
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The six-month orgasm that was the Brewers 2008 season finally exorcised the demons of Billy Jo Robidoux, John Jaha, and every other half-assed player who suited up for the Crew during the past quarter-century. Even a quick execution at the hands of future World Series champs the Philadelphia Phillies in the NLDS couldn’t dampen the gratitude fans felt over having something to cheer for in October for the first time since 1982. Now that the Brewers are coming off of a playoff year, should gratitude give way to higher expectations? Like all fans, Decider is equal parts optimistic and pessimistic. Here are four things we’re expecting to be true in 2009.
An ass-kicking manager (at least compared to Ned Yost)
Ned Yost seemed like a decent-enough guy: Friendly and likable, he helped to redefine a team that was a rotting carcass prior to his arrival. Maybe he was too decent; what else explains his bad habit of perpetually trotting out players who, well, sucked? Last season the Brewers traded for Ray Durham, who hit 46 points higher than the struggling Rickie Weeks and was comparable in the field (because it’s not possible to be worse than awful). And yet Yost barely used him, probably because he didn’t want to upset lil’ Rickie. New manager Ken Macha appears to be much less of a coddler. When asked by MLB.com about resting Jason Kendall more during the season—something Yost didn’t do at all and was deservedly criticized for—Macha said the Crew’s starting catcher doesn’t like to be benched, but that’s “just too bad.” Okay, so that’s not exactly a fire-spitting response. But compared to Yost, Macha is Billy freakin’ Martin.
A closer who actually closes
Yes, Trevor Hoffman is old. Yes, he’s now described as “crafty” and “wily” because his fastballs no longer rack up impressive radar gun numbers. (And, okay, he'll probably start the season on the DL.) But his stuff is still intact: Last year, at the age of 40, Hoffman had 46 strikeouts and only nine walks in 45 innings. Not to dredge up bad memories of Eric Gagne, but our ’roided-up former closer gave up 22 walks and 46 hits in 46 innings pitched. Hoffman’s Legion-ball heater notwithstanding, his addition can only be a good thing, even if we prefer “Highway To Hell” to “Hells Bells.”
Missing Ben Sheets
There was a flicker of hope that C.C. Sabathia might stick around Milwaukee no matter how many extra gazillions of dollars the Yankees were offering. Of course, it didn’t happen, but it’s hard to hold a grudge against one of the few players to show up during September’s ass-puckering freefall. Then there’s the ever-maddening Ben Sheets. Sometimes brilliant but always glasslike, Sheets nearly rivals Weeks as an instant blood-boiler among Brewers fans. But Sheets was the team’s best pitcher for years, averaging nearly 11 wins a year for some truly gruesome teams. (Newly anointed ace Yovani Gallardo has nine career wins.) Hopefully Gallardo will be the workhorse Sheets never was, but recent history suggests that might not be the case. Don’t expect much help from the Brewers newest starting arm; if the Sabathia signing was a Fourth of July parade, bringing on Braden Looper was like that sad fart sound a balloon makes as the air slowly leaks out.
The Cubs will be too damn good
Outside of the Brewers and the Cubs, the NL Central is shaping up, once again, to stink like Prince Fielder’s jock. After the Brewers couldn’t get the best of the Cubs last year, those a-holes to the south spent the off-season adding and re-signing key players, while the Brewers only subtracted. The Crew’s starting lineup will basically be the same, but with no Sabathia and Sheets, will the big sticks be enough? Only if the following things are true: 1. Ryan Braun is even more otherworldly than he was in 2008; 2. Prince Fielder’s new paycheck keeps him happy enough to repeat his 50-homer form of two years ago; 3. Bill Hall can really step it up and hit, say, .255, shoring up the black hole at the bottom of the order. That’s a whole lot of ifs, and even if all that happens it still might not be enough. But if the Cubs have proven anything over their 100-plus years of ineptitude, it’s that they’re never too stacked to be given a red-ass whuppin’ by the baseball gods. Let’s hope the Brewers can get their licks in.
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