The A.V. Club guide to National Pig Day
Celebrate the existence of a benevolent God by honoring this wonderful, magical animal
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Pigs get kind of a bad rap. You can trot out as much evidence as you like showing how clean and intelligent they are, but, really, you’re fighting an uphill battle against their resilient reputation as slovenly party animals, pantless stutterers, and would-be rapists. Nevertheless, pork-loving Texan Mary Lynne Rave and her sister Ellen Stanley declared March 1 to be National Pig Day in 1972 to celebrate our swinish friends and conveniently fill the cold, joyless void between Valentine’s Day and St. Patrick’s Day.
The A.V. Club shares this affection toward the noble pig, so we offer our fellow pig-lovers a few ways to celebrate the holiday.
Pork is edible. Who knew?
Apparently, pigs can be kind of cute. Isn’t that nice? They’re also delicious. Speed Queen Bar-B-Q has long reigned as Milwaukee’s go-to spot for mouth-watering ribs, though the recently opened Smoke Shack is no slouch, either. And don’t forget about Saz’s, which is the official BBQ partner of the Green Bay Packers. If that’s not a ringing endorsement, we don’t know what is.
Drink like swine.
Once you’re done eating—or do it between meals; it’s a holiday!—fill up on bacon-infused vodka or bourbon. Just prepare ahead of time and drink it straight from the vial, as God intended. If there’s any left come morning, use it in a Bloody Mary.
Make some art—then eat it!
Or course, there’s more to the pig than just eating and drinking it. Take some paste and sparkle dust, and make some art in the avant-garde medium of colored bacon. When you show it off and all of your friends dismiss it as crap, soothe your broken heart by locking yourself in your room and devouring your fancy little art project.
PSA: Bacon saves lives.
Hemorrhages strike at the worst of times, don’t they? Humankind’s cloven-hoofed friend helps with that, too. In late January, researchers at Detroit Medical Center announced that bacon can be used to stop nosebleeds. Using what turns out to be an old-fashioned way of stanching blood, doctors were able to save the life of a girl suffering from a rare disorder that causes prolonged bleeding by stuffing strips of cured pork in her bleeding nasal passages. Just when everyone thought the apex of civilization had been reached, physicians come along and vault us into a golden age of pig-centric medicine.
Hogging the screen.
Some people have moral or religious reasons not to eat pigs. But don’t worry; anyone can still celebrate the holiday without sacrificing an adorable piggy face by sitting back and enjoying the 1995 family classic, Gordy. There was also Babe and his urban-flavored sequel, as well as the 1973 animated version of Charlotte’s Web, and Razorback, an early-80s horror flick about a boar that terrorizes the Australian outback, reminding us that swine deserve our awed respect. And for those who aren’t comfortable with the cinematic exploitation of our porcine friends, there’s always Deliverance’s memorable ode to pigkind. Whatever you decide to watch, maybe do it with a bag of pork rinds?