Roll Call The A.V. Club guide to some of summer’s less-illustrious concert tours

There are plenty of opportunities to see live music in the summer, from street fairs to mega-fests like Lollapalooza and Bonnaroo. Still, sometimes you just want to veg out and go see some dumb shit. After all, nothing makes a concert better than access to elephant ears and a demolition derby. Thus, The A.V. Club’s guide to some of the less-illustrious concerts we’re looking forward to this summer. Hey, not everything can be Radiohead, right?

Iron Maiden’s Maiden England tour (kicks off June 21 in Charlotte, North Carolina; stops at Summerfest July 4)
You’ve got to hand it to Iron Maiden. Not only are they factually the greatest band in the history of recorded music, but they continually give fans what they want. Their recent output has been solid, including their most recent record, The Final Frontier. But there’s no denying that even the most hardcore fans crave the stuff from the vintage, mid-’80s period. This is why it was joyous news to find that Maiden was heading across North America on a tour built around a 1988 concert film shot during the Seventh Son For A Seventh Son tour. Sure, it’s nostalgic. But at least it’s honest about it, and you know you’re not going to spend the whole show shifting your weight around wondering they’re going to stop playing the “new stuff.” It’s not only a guaranteed good time but (at the risk of sounding hyperbolic), it’s guaranteed the best time you have ever had or will ever have in your entire life, ever. (JS)

Kiss and Mötley Crüe tour (kicks off July 20 in Bristow, Virginia)
When The A.V. Club announced that joke-rock legends Kiss and Mötley Crüe were heading out on a massive 40-date North American tour, we guessed that they’d be drifting from county fairground to country fairground on an airship that was also its own nation-state. While this has turned out to be false, we’re certain this is nonetheless something you should pay to see. Or at least hop the fence with your idiot friends and sneak in for free and see it. The idea of hearing “Dr. Feelgood” and “Calling Dr. Love” in the same night is the prescription for your summertime blues. Also you can make a drinking game out of trying to add up how many women Gene Simmons and Tommy Lee have bedded, combined. Gross. (JS)

Brad Paisley and Miranda Lambert (kicked off May 18 in St. Louis, Missouri)
Country music might be one of the biggest moneymakers around, but for A.V. Club readers, it’s not really the preferred genre to jam. Still, on a hot summer eve, sometimes there’s nothing better than a really sad country ballad or a swingin’ track about ropin’ and ridin’ to really make the night feel right. Enter Brad Paisley’s Virtual Reality tour, which is making its way around the country with a rotating crew of opening acts, including Miranda Lambert. They’re stopping at Chicago’s Wrigley Field June 9 for a rare concert at the storied stadium. For all those country mice living in the city, it should be a hoedown to remember. For all those city mice, well, let yourself go and you might just enjoy it. (ME)

Summerland 2012 Tour (kicks off June 28 in Saratoga, California)
Nostalgia tours are hardly new, but with the recent surge in ’90s nostalgia already kicking in, the Summerland Tour has earned some buzz. Offering some of the more popular (but now faded) names of ’90s alt-rock—Lit, Everclear, Gin Blossoms, Marcy Playground, and Sugar Ray—the Summerland tour is sure to keep heads bopping and drunken fans screaming the lyrics to “Hey Jealousy” at the top of their lungs. Though the bands left off the bill may raise some hackles (whither Eve 6?). Still, keep chill, have some beers, and groove to the jams that got you through college. (MG)

Sigur Rós (kicks off July 29 in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania)
While the Icelandic quartet may not immediately conjure up images of sunny days and picnics on the riverbank, its music does contain some warmth and lends itself to beautiful, clear summer evenings. Lucky for America, then, that the band is taking a brief summer tour of the States and most of the venues are outdoors. The band is supporting their new album, Valtari, which sounds like a mesh of the band’s soundscapes of old with the warmth and layers of their more recent albums. It’s the band’s first tour in four years and as many as 11 musicians will be onstage at a time, meaning audiences will get the full symphonic Sigur Rós treatment, a heavenly soundtrack for a warm night under a sky full of stars. (MG)

Tenacious D (kicked off May 23 in Santa Barbara, California)
While it’s a stretch to call such a musically talented and much-loved (if not always critically) band a “guilty pleasure,” that’s the sort of inherent attitude musical comedy acts like Tenacious D receive, especially one that’s been on a hiatus for far too long. It’s not necessarily wrong—this is the band that plagued college campuses with spontaneous sing-alongs of “Fuck Her Gently,” after all—and like most guilty pleasures, Tenacious D is unparalleled in its trade of making big, loud, dumb rock songs that are also extremely fun. And what is summer for, if not for indulging in such pleasures? Plus, Tenacious D’s never-ending joke as the greatest band in the world is as charming as it is hilarious. And with the new Rize Of The Fenix only their third album in 11 years, who knows when the D will rize again? (SM)