Holidazed The A.V. Club’s riot-free guide to local Black Friday deals

Black Friday descends upon the retail world again this week, celebrating the time the Pilgrims waited on the beach for the Mayflower to arrive with a cargo hold full of HDTVs that were under 200 gold pieces. Retailers, like little kids on Christmas holiday shopping season morning, keep creeping the start of the season into Thanksgiving. Local retailers are not immune to the desire to rake in a ton of money from bargain-starved shoppers, and have started to offer their own deals to lure in folks looking for some great deals and light rioting. The A.V. Club travelled into the future to find out what local stores have the best deals, and which will survive the meteor strike on Saturday.

Lakefront Brewery
The store: Lakefront keeps the tradition of Milwaukee and beer alive when most people visiting Milwaukee think the brewery that employed Laverne and Shirley is still open.
The sale: The Black Friday Ale on sale at 8 a.m. is only available in limited quantities. Why fight in the aisles of a big box store when a bar brawl can suffice?
Santa suggests: The brewery is also offering all-day tours for those who want a beer for breakfast, or, if they’ve been shopping through Thanksgiving, dessert.

The Tool Shed
The store: A sex-positive adult toy store that features workshops and knowledgeable staff instead of awkward silence and bored teenagers behind the counter.
The sale: 20 percent off all black items—that includes toys, handcuffs, lingerie, panties, wedges, paddles, and a ton of other things that will make this article NSFW.
Santa suggests: Pick up the DVD with the punniest title for the office’s Secret Santa exchange.

Game Universe
The store: The largest game store in Milwaukee has board games, RPGs, and even (shudder) educational items.
The sale: Get a ton of cards for $25 and play Magic: The Gathering all day in the relative comfort of fellow nerds.
Santa suggests: Now that gateway games like Settlers Of Catan and Tsuro are in stores like Target, kick it up a notch with some Arkham Horror or Incan Gold.

Cascio Interstate Music
The store: The biggest local music store not only offers aspiring musicians a chance at a life of sweating through bar gigs, but also co-sponsors the most handsome of the Summerfest stages.
The sale: All-day sales on instruments, amps, equipment, and all the other necessities that will be argued over when the band breaks up.
Santa suggests: Buying an instrument for a sibling’s kid will make the kid an eternal ally and get the sibling back for all those moments of childhood trauma.

Black Friday Beer Fest at Harley-Davidson Museum
The store: Harley-Davidson may be larger than most of the mom-and-pop shops on this list, but it’s a multinational conglomerate that loves its hometown enough to throw a 110th Anniversary party next year.
The sale: $30 gets you beer samples from various local breweries, and the perfect way to take the edge off a day of brawling for Black Friday specials.
Santa suggests: Stumbling through the museum is fun, but picking up anniversary merchandise helps the process of getting over the inevitable disappointment of the 110th’s special musical guest.