The Harry Potter film series
Don't let Voldermort catch you unprepared.
It’s been a long time coming, but we will finally reach the conclusion of the Harry Potter saga when the film series, based on the popular book series by J.K. Rowling, ends with this week’s release of Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2. But ahead of that, the Ridge Cinema and Menomonee Falls Cinema are holding a marathon, showing the first three Potter films Wednesday, July 13. The fun continues with the next four installments Thursday, July 14, and concludes with the midnight première of Hallows: 2. But what if you know nothing about Harry Potter’s universe? Or what if you remember very little and don’t want to reveal your ignorance about Sirius Black’s importance or about the details of the Triwizard Tournament? The A.V. Club has your back so that you can fool your friends into thinking you knew what was going on all along. So whether you’re attending the Alamo’s marathon, swinging by a friend’s home viewing party, or getting dragged to an opening weekend showing of Hallows: 2, if you don’t want to be left out, here’s our guide to help you make it through.
Harry Potter And The Sorcerer’s Stone
What you should know: Harry Potter learns he’s a wizard and that he gets to attend wizard school at Hogwarts where he makes new friends and enemies (and a few frenemies). Headmaster Albus Dumbledore takes a shine to Harry; professor Snape doesn’t. And one teacher turns out to be possessed by the spirit of Voldemort (the evil wizard who has killed Harry’s parents, blah blah blah back-story) and dies at Harry’s hands (literally), though Harry doesn’t seem to mind.
What you might not know: Griphook, one of the goblins at Gringotts is played by Verne Troyer (Mini-Me from the Austin Powers franchise) but is voiced by Warwick Davis (who plays professor Flitwick).
What got cut from the book: No major subplots are cut; it’s a paint-by-numbers adaptation. But Harry seems pretty happy at the end for a kid who just killed a man.
What you should talk about: Does Ron really strike anyone as a chess savant?
Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets
What you should know: There are a trouble-making elf, a flying car, and Kenneth Branagh in the first 30 minutes. An evil giant snake (a basilisk) petrifies Hogwarts students, but Harry wins the day by stabbing the snake and a magical diary, neither of which are metaphors for pubescent angst.
What you might not know: Hugh Grant was originally cast as professor Lockhart, but Branagh ultimately got the role.
What got cut from the book: Again, no major subplots are missing, but cutting Nearly Headless Nick’s deathday party deprived audiences of more John Cleese.
What you should talk about: So, really, no one noticed a giant snake in the basement?
Harry Potter And The Prisoner of Azkaban
What you should know: Harry finds out that Sirius Black (Gary Oldman), the presumed escaped murderous lunatic responsible for his parents’ death, is actually his godfather, not a murderous lunatic, and also not responsible for his parents’ death. There are also a friendly werewolf, an evil transforming rat, and time travel.
What you might not know: Tilda Swinton was allegedly offered the role of professor Trelawney but turned it down. (Emma Thompson plays Trelawney instead.) Whenever Swinton feels bummed about passing on it, she apparently just polishes her Oscar statuette to feel better.
What got cut from the book: Lots of quidditch, the crazy game played on flying brooms that’s like soccer except with greater chances of horrific injury, got cut. And so did Hermione’s cat, Crookshanks, who’s barely in the film series at all.
What you should talk about: More convincing werewolf: David Thewlis or Taylor Lautner?
Harry Potter And The Goblet Of Fire
What you should know: Harry is mysteriously entered into the Triwizard Tournament, a prestigious competition involving wizard students from other countries; it’s like the Olympics with dragons and less figure skating. Robert Pattinson’s character dies, and Voldermort returns.
What you might not know: Musicians portraying the film version of The Weird Sisters include Pulp’s Jarvis Cocker and two members of Radiohead, Jonny Greenwood and Phil Selway.
What got cut from the book: Lots gets cut, including everything involving SPEW, Hermione’s liberal awakening, and her venture to free the Hogwarts’ house elves from servitude.
What you should talk about: J.K. Rowling’s newfound bloodlust.
Harry Potter And The Order Of The Phoenix
What you should know: Harry learns about a secret group of good guys known as The Order Of The Phoenix (with many of his allies as members), has visions connected to Voldemort, is picked on by a mean new teacher (professor Umbridge), starts an underground club of his own (Dumbledore’s Army), and learns his prophecy. Sirius dies, and shit starts to get really dark in the Potterverse as the wizard government finally acknowledges Voldemort’s return. Also, Harry gets annoyingly angsty and emo.
What you might not know: The 12 Grimauld Place house elf Kreacher was originally cut completely from the film, but was put back in at Rowling’s behest.
What got cut from the book: The entire quidditch season—blasphemy!
What you should talk about: Dumbledore’s Army: good punk band name or best punk band name?
Harry Potter And The Half-Blood Prince
What you should know: Now that Voldemort has returned, Harry deals with a stubborn bureaucracy, a distant Dumbledore, and more teenage angst. The concept of horcruxes is introduced and not at all complicated. The students all get horny, and then jealous, and then emo. Draco does some evil stuff; Snape kills Dumbledore; everyone is sad.
What you might not know: The young actor who played 11-year-old Tom Riddle (Voldemort before he became Voldemort) is Hero Fiennes-Tiffin. He’s nephew to actor Raph Fiennes (who plays the fully grown and evil Voldermort) and a much better actor than Jake Lloyd.
What got cut from the book: Most notably, Dumbledore’s funeral scene at the end is cut, indicating that Rowling’s bloodlust might have been sated.
What you should talk about: Now that Dumbledore’s dead, which actor was better in the role: the late Sir Richard Harris or Sir Michael Gambon?
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 1
What you should know: The Order tries to sneak Harry past Voldemort, but a fight ensues and Harry’s owl dies. So after one of Ron’s brothers gets married, Harry and his pals go rogue, trying to track down the other horcruxes, which involves a lot of wandering through forests, a few chase scenes, and a confrontation with Death Eaters at Malfoy Manor. Drama ensues; Dobby dies; everyone is sad. We also learn what the Deathly Hallows are, and Voldemort goes grave-robbing to steal Dumbledore’s wand (which is one of the Hallows).
What you might not know: Griphook the Goblin, played by Verne Troyer in Sorcerer’s Stone, has a much more prominent role and is fully played by Warwick Davis this time around.
What got cut from the book: The trio’s seemingly endless wandering through the forest is, mercifully, cut way down.
What you should talk about: Ron’s incessant “I like Harry/I hate Harry/I like Harry again” mood swings throughout the entire series: adolescent angst or signs of a serious psychological disorder?
Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows: Part 2
What you should know: We’re not going to spoil the surprise, but there is lots of magic and shit blowing up—and it turns out Rowling’s bloodlust is not sated after all.
What you might not know: Most of the film’s events occur within a 24-hour span.
What got cut from the book: We don’t know yet. But given that the studio split this movie into two parts (in a decision that surely had absolutely nothing at all to do with money), probably not much. If there’s a God, the filmmakers scrapped the awful epilogue that reads like a bad fanfic entry.
What you should talk about: Odds of new Harry Potter material in the future: great or very great?
