Website for Ryan Braun’s energy drink is pretty much what you’d expect
As we all know, Milwaukee Brewers left fielder Ryan Braun isn’t just an MLB all-star, he’s an entrepreneur. Whether it’s restaurants or a line of delightful, not-at-all douche-y T-shirts, Braun is a truly a modern-day renaissance man. (And he’s one that isn’t afraid to get tossed from a game now and then.) Another of RB’s products is Limelite Fusion Energy Drink, which debuted in 2010. And while we can’t vouch for the drink itself (has anyone tried the stuff?), we can take a look at the drink’s sense-assaulting website. Here are just a few things we love about it.
1. Really loud music that plays automatically
Milliseconds after entering the Limelite Fusion Energy Drink site, your computer speakers are assaulted by an infectious—and really, really loud—club track. Sure, you can mute the sound by clicking the little speaker in the bottom righthand corner, but by then, you’ll already have annoyed everyone at work and/or Starbucks. Have we mentioned the song is “Barbra Streisand” by Duck Sauce? Not since James Brown’s good name was dragged through the mud by L.A. Style has there been a more bizarre celebrity-themed dance track.
Lest you think Limelite is only for well-heeled jocks like Braun, the Dallas Cowboy’s Doug Free, and, um, WBC Light Middleweight champion Saul Alvarez, the site has plenty of female eye candy. In the “Fresh Faces” section, comely models Lindsey Henning, Katie Kruz, Ashley Caple, and Heidi Golznig can be found posing in various states of undress. Sadly, clicking on these buxom young gals doesn’t bring up a much-needed photo gallery. Instead, it just opens the front page of the site in another window, and fires up the “Barbra Streisand” song again, even if you had it muted beforehand.
While Braun may be Limelite’s official face, it seems he’s somehow convinced a few of his fellow Brewers to lend their fame to the drink. Yovanni Gallardo [sic], Cory Hart [sic], Carlos Gomez, Jonathan Lucroy, and Casey McGee [sic] can all be found in the “Who’s Drinking Limelite” section, posing with a can and looking more than a little uncomfortable. We like to picture Braun sneaking up on them in the locker room, thrusting a can of Limelite in their hands, and snapping a quick photo. Ryan Braun: the Allen Funt of the Milwaukee Brewers.