Weekend (Summerfest) Agenda: July 4-5

Today Decider remembers the patriotic words of Thomas Jefferson, who once described himself as an “American bad ass, watch me kick, you can roll with rock or you can suck my dick.” Wait a minute—that wasn’t Ben Franklin, it was Kid Rock, who performs Sunday at Summerfest. (Hey Kid, if you’re reading this, check out our feature about Decider’s search for a good Milwaukee strip club buffet. It will make your stay in town more enjoyable.) In honor of Independence Day, Decider also implores anyone who doesn’t roll with rock, rock with roll, or embrace American bad-assery to perform oral sex on us.

Okay, maybe this week’s agenda has gotten off to a slightly overly aggressive start. (Please direct any and all sexual harassment suits to our attorneys.) We’re just really jazzed about our nation’s birthday, the ongoing circus that is The Big Gig, and perhaps most of all, the Red, White, And Blue Ribbon Festival today outside of Burnhearts. The free party not only boasts $2 cans of PBR, but one of the better lineups for a summer street festival, with Stephen Malkmus And The Jicks Maps And Atlases, and Rock Plaza Central joining local favorites Maritime and Kid Millions with DJ Deadbeat.

Otherwise Summerfest continues its dominance of the local entertainment calendar through the weekend. If you’ve spent the past week avoiding the crowds, the fatty food, and the plastic cups of warm beer down on Milwaukee’s lakefront, you might want to get over your Summerfest-hating ways and check out some of the better shows bringing the festivities to a close. Decider plans to hit up Elvis Costello And The Imposters Sunday. (We might also sneak over to see Huey Lewis And The News Saturday, but that’s between you and us.)