Will somebody please help us unmask this dopey Riverwest superhero guy?

Riverwest is one of our favorite neighborhoods in Milwaukee. It’s the only place in the city where you can get a killer vegan wrap and a tiresome lecture on why you should ride your bike to work in December and robbed at gunpoint in the space of a single hour. But Riverwest, honestly, you’ve gone too far this time—the Journal Sentinel reports that a masked “superhero” is patrolling the neighborhood. He calls himself “the Watchman,” and he’s nearly as good at fighting crime as he is at coming up with original superhero names.

His identity is obscured by a bright red mask that covers half his goateed face. He wears black boots, black pants, black leather gloves, and a black trench coat, but there’s a large yellow circle on the chest of his black hooded sweatshirt, with a big W.

“I’m what people refer to as a real-life superhero,” he says.

By night, on weekends, he patrols Milwaukee’s Riverwest neighborhood, looking for injustice and evildoers. By day? That’s a mystery.

“While most reactions to what I do are positive, there are a few negative responses,” he explains, adding that the disguise protects his family—a wife and two young sons—from any of that. “I’m the one who decided to do this, not them,” he says. “They should not have to suffer for it.”

Oh dude, we bet they’ve already suffered plenty from this.

Look, we know lots of free-spirited people live in Riverwest, which is fine as long as they’re contributing to society in the form of bike messaging or selling mind-meltingly great weed. But this guy…he’s gotta be stopped, if only for his own good. A cell phone and pepper spray will only get you so far. So, if you know who he is, out with it already.